Losing My Mother

[SomeJackleg]

I'm still a bit fuzzy as to when the cancer treatement (in pill form) will start.  Perhaps after she is in a nursing home, perhaps after she sees her primary doctor.

don't know how they do where your at but, when our father was diagnosed with cancer before he passed, the hospital brought in a oncologist, the one they recommended had a fairly long waiting period due to other patients before they could see him. we found him another one that saw him the very next day.

Mom was transferred to a nursing facility on the 19 Dec.  They didn't do much due to the holiday but started physical/occupational therapy after 25 Dec.  Unfortunatley her health went downhill very early New Years Eve and she was sent to a very good hospital.  As expected, her red blood cell count bottomed out and she ended up with a lung infection.  She has has two blood transfusion already this week.

hate to hear she's having more problems. it's tuff dealing with more than one health problem at a time.
hope i'm not overstepping here but i'm sure i speak for everyone here when i say we said tell your mom all of us at the nation are rootin for her and will say a prayer for her.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

I'm still a bit fuzzy as to when the cancer treatement (in pill form) will start.  Perhaps after she is in a nursing home, perhaps after she sees her primary doctor.

don't know how they do where your at but, when our father was diagnosed with cancer before he passed, the hospital brought in a oncologist, the one they recommended had a fairly long waiting period due to other patients before they could see him. we found him another one that saw him the very next day.

Mom was transferred to a nursing facility on the 19 Dec.  They didn't do much due to the holiday but started physical/occupational therapy after 25 Dec.  Unfortunatley her health went downhill very early New Years Eve and she was sent to a very good hospital.  As expected, her red blood cell count bottomed out and she ended up with a lung infection.  She has has two blood transfusion already this week.

hate to hear she's having more problems. it's tuff dealing with more than one health problem at a time.
hope i'm not overstepping here but i'm sure i speak for everyone here when i say we said tell your mom all of us at the nation are rootin for her and will say a prayer for her.

I'll share your thoughts and prayers with her when I can.  Thanks

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Mom knows that people have her in their thoughts and prayers and has accepted that what will happen will be in God's hands.

She is beyond getting transfusions now as that won't be of much help.  She will be transferred to some hospice facility in a day or so.  Therefore she won't be with us too many more days.

I'll try my best to make the long drive to see her once she is moved if time allows, as in her time being with.

Dad is beside himself as it is beyond his understanding of why she will no longer be getting transfusions.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Mom actually called me early this evening while I was at the beginning of a cry fest over her.  She explained that she will be spending the next three days or so at my sister's house until the hospice nearby there is ready to admit her.

She told me all about who had visited today and such and that she was ready to go on to the great beyond.

What is so maddening for me is that I would love to see her one more time before she passes.  The issue in part is the 150 mile drive half it seems would be through traffic hell.  The more maddening issue is that my back more or less went out on me yesterday after picking something off the floor.  Moving around is a nightmare, especially since I have prescriptions to pick up and much needed laundry to do.  The pain is making me all thumbs causing me to drop things and not think clearly.

Getting older is so much fun.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Mom actually called me early this evening while I was at the beginning of a cry fest over her.  She explained that she will be spending the next three days or so at my sister's house until the hospice nearby there is ready to admit her.

She told me all about who had visited today and such and that she was ready to go on to the great beyond.

What is so maddening for me is that I would love to see her one more time before she passes.  The issue in part is the 150 mile drive half it seems would be through traffic hell.  The more maddening issue is that my back more or less went out on me yesterday after picking something off the floor.  Moving around is a nightmare, especially since I have prescriptions to pick up and much needed laundry to do.  The pain is making me all thumbs causing me to drop things and not think clearly.

Getting older is so much fun.

Zoom or Face Time is better than nothing. We used it at family gatherings for those that could not make it. Even used it at my Aunt's funeral.

It really is not that bad, and is easy to connect. 

Still praying for your Mom.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Mom actually called me early this evening while I was at the beginning of a cry fest over her.  She explained that she will be spending the next three days or so at my sister's house until the hospice nearby there is ready to admit her.

She told me all about who had visited today and such and that she was ready to go on to the great beyond.

What is so maddening for me is that I would love to see her one more time before she passes.  The issue in part is the 150 mile drive half it seems would be through traffic hell.  The more maddening issue is that my back more or less went out on me yesterday after picking something off the floor.  Moving around is a nightmare, especially since I have prescriptions to pick up and much needed laundry to do.  The pain is making me all thumbs causing me to drop things and not think clearly.

Getting older is so much fun.

Zoom or Face Time is better than nothing. We used it at family gatherings for those that could not make it. Even used it at my Aunt's funeral.

It really is not that bad, and is easy to connect. 

Still praying for your Mom.

FaceTime will be a good plan B if I am not up to making the visit later next week.  Thanks for the idea and prayers.

[SomeJackleg]

Mom actually called me early this evening while I was at the beginning of a cry fest over her.  She explained that she will be spending the next three days or so at my sister's house until the hospice nearby there is ready to admit her.

She told me all about who had visited today and such and that she was ready to go on to the great beyond.

What is so maddening for me is that I would love to see her one more time before she passes.  The issue in part is the 150 mile drive half it seems would be through traffic hell.  The more maddening issue is that my back more or less went out on me yesterday after picking something off the floor.  Moving around is a nightmare, especially since I have prescriptions to pick up and much needed laundry to do.  The pain is making me all thumbs causing me to drop things and not think clearly.

Getting older is so much fun.

it's good she's ready and from reading your post facing it with dignity. i'm not coming down on you with what i'm about to say, it's is just me.
depending on how long the couple of days you spoke of in your post before this one are, nothing and i mean nothing would keep me from my moms side unless i was days and days away. even then i'd be on my way trying to get there.  we were all there with my dad, taking turns from the hospital to the hospice house. mom during the day me and my brothers at night taking turns staying over night and mom when she came back from taking a break at home.

the night he passed my brothers and their wives turned around after driving back home 65 and 80 miles from their house at 1 am to be with him. even if he couldn't let us know we were with him we all knew he did.

again this is just me, but the only thing that would slow me down would be getting the back pain script and then it would have to be like in the morning. damn a bunch of laundry or traffic, or maybe even a DUI due to the pain killers trying to get there. hell i'd even give up my job if need be.

anyway don't take what i wrote the wrong way, it's just that the hell i put them through growing up, and the help they gave me when i needed it, and all the other things that come with being part of  a family nothing would stop me from showing them the love i have for them. 

also i get the idea from what you wrote she would understand you not being there. but i also think it would be a great comfort for her if you could be.

like NightskyeB4Dawn said prayers for her and your family during this time.

again please don't be offended.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Mom actually called me early this evening while I was at the beginning of a cry fest over her.  She explained that she will be spending the next three days or so at my sister's house until the hospice nearby there is ready to admit her.

She told me all about who had visited today and such and that she was ready to go on to the great beyond.

What is so maddening for me is that I would love to see her one more time before she passes.  The issue in part is the 150 mile drive half it seems would be through traffic hell.  The more maddening issue is that my back more or less went out on me yesterday after picking something off the floor.  Moving around is a nightmare, especially since I have prescriptions to pick up and much needed laundry to do.  The pain is making me all thumbs causing me to drop things and not think clearly.

Getting older is so much fun.

it's good she's ready and from reading your post facing it with dignity. i'm not coming down on you with what i'm about to say, it's is just me.
depending on how long the couple of days you spoke of in your post before this one are, nothing and i mean nothing would keep me from my moms side unless i was days and days away. even then i'd be on my way trying to get there.  we were all there with my dad, taking turns from the hospital to the hospice house. mom during the day me and my brothers at night taking turns staying over night and mom when she came back from taking a break at home.

the night he passed my brothers and their wives turned around after driving back home 65 and 80 miles from their house at 1 am to be with him. even if he couldn't let us know we were with him we all knew he did.

again this is just me, but the only thing that would slow me down would be getting the back pain script and then it would have to be like in the morning. damn a bunch of laundry or traffic, or maybe even a DUI due to the pain killers trying to get there. hell i'd even give up my job if need be.

anyway don't take what i wrote the wrong way, it's just that the hell i put them through growing up, and the help they gave me when i needed it, and all the other things that come with being part of  a family nothing would stop me from showing them the love i have for them. 

also i get the idea from what you wrote she would understand you not being there. but i also think it would be a great comfort for her if you could be.

like NightskyeB4Dawn said prayers for her and your family during this time.

again please don't be offended.

Nothing you typed offended me.  It's the straight talk that I need to hear.  

Last night I tossed and turned until 4AM allowing me only 4 hours of sleep.  The good from this is that I ended up popping the troublesome part of my lower back that was causing so much pain.  Today I am a wounded warrior with the tip of a knife pointed directly at my lower back reminding me that any wrong move will put me on the ground.  Despite this I was able to get out to get my new anixety perscription and fill up with gas for the long trip to see mom.

It's either go tomorrow or go next Thursday as I haven't heard how successful the move from the hospital to my sisters house has gone.  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[SomeJackleg]

Nothing you typed offended me.  It's the straight talk that I need to hear.  

Last night I tossed and turned until 4AM allowing me only 4 hours of sleep.  The good from this is that I ended up popping the troublesome part of my lower back that was causing so much pain.  Today I am a wounded warrior with the tip of a knife pointed directly at my lower back reminding me that any wrong move will put me on the ground.  Despite this I was able to get out to get my new anixety perscription and fill up with gas for the long trip to see mom.

It's either go tomorrow or go next Thursday as I haven't heard how successful the move from the hospital to my sisters house has gone.  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 
 i'm glad i didn't offend you, and i really think that is the best thing you could do, for her and then later on it will be for yourself.
 for her in her final days knowing her child is with her to comfort and show their love for her, and after it's done for you   knowing that you got to be with her and not having to regret not being able to say good bye / see you later in person.
be strong as you can for her and your father and again my condolences and prayer for you.

[Leftiris]

Words are hard for me to find right now but I need to get them out in hopes of feeling at least a little better.

My mom has a somewhat rare but very aggressive cancer stopping her from producing red blood cells.  There are a number of "treatments" but I don't believe they do anything more than prolong her misery until her body gives out.

The thought of losing my mom is hard after all the other family I have lost.  The maddening part of this is the person who claims to be my father.  I'm sure he is my father but I don't recongize him as being a human being.  The problem is that he is and has always been a bully, attempting to boss everyone around.  Part of this is due to medical reasons but it's beside the point in trying to change him.  What he is doing is staying with mom in the hospital, perhaps 24/7 keeping other family away from seeing her.  Even her own sister.  He goes beserk cursing at them to get out.  

I don't want my mom's final days/weeks, or who knows how long to be like this.  There is not much I can do on my own as I live far away from them.  The reason for living far away is that the father has threatened to kill me as he does just about anyone else who tries to show him that he is an idiot.

My sister is of some help in this matter.  At least keeping me up to date on mom's medical status.  However she thinks dad is a saint and can't help what he does.

It's tough hearing stories like this. I can't say mine is exactly like it, but I can emphasize here.
Hope this has sorted itself out some, as well as, hoping your mom is doing okay. 

Sending positive vibrations your way.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Things are going downhill, as expected, today with mom.  To keep this PC I'll just say that the hospice nurse and clergy should be paying her a visit today.

[DonnerPartyOf404]

Today is a hard day for me but I will get by I guess.  Lost my mom today and feel I lost a part of myself as well.

[Freija]

I, as I'm sure everyone else here at Rogue Nation offers out sincerest condolences and sorrow for your loss.

I lost my mother a long long time ago but she lives on in my head and my heart as will yours and I know this isn't an easy time for you right now but your friends at RN are here for you if you need them to be or want to talk.

Take care.

[SomeJackleg]

Today is a hard day for me but I will get by I guess.  Lost my mom today and feel I lost a part of myself as well.

take comfort she's moved on to a better place and on to the net part of our journey, and not having to deal with her illness anymore.
i'll tell you you'll more than likely feel like you lost part of yourself for a couple, three, four years and there will more than likely be more days she's on your mind than not. at least it was for me when we lost our father. hell hardly a week goes by that when i stop by my moms to check on her in the afternoons that we don't think of something he always said, did, or liked. and it has been 7 years now.

just don't let it bring you down, and smile and laugh about it.

my condolences to you, your father, siblings if you have any and other family for your loss.