I can relate to feeling stuck. I've been stranded in WA state, living in the same apartment, state, for 24 years. It made me long for a change of surroundings, but I've got nowhere to go, most of my relatives live on the west coast, which will likely be hit by an earthquake or tsunami. So my only options seem to be heading up to Mt. Rainier or spending my last days at a lake I frequently visit, unless evacuation options are promptly made available, but the government will likely wait until the last minute before issuing warnings.
I used to have a best friend who lived here, we were thick as thieves, hanged out every day after school, but then he moved away. We assumed we were busy, so neither of us called each other, until I decided to get back in touch with him this year. I've made no close IRL friends ever since.
___
Mom: I can sorta relate to this, although my mom's age isn't nearly advanced.
I'm unable to take care of myself, mostly dependent on her. Despite living with her, I was estranged from her, having spent most of my time at home, I saw her negative side more. We used to get into fights over schoolwork, she'd push me to be successful, and over her dragging me to church. I found her overbearing, nagging. But when I started going out to the park with her this year, I saw more of her positive side, amused by how she interacted with wildlife. It seems people these days don't get many opportunities to show their better side to people.
If something happens to her, I'll likely end up in homeless.
This may sound harsh, but I wouldn't worry about your mom too much if she dies, those strong feelings can detain her here, they still receive our emotions/thoughts. Also, when she breathes her last, she can still hear you, even though she's unable to control her motor functions. The process of death is misunderstood. Friederike Hauffe recommends leaving the window open upon departure.
After 2025, scientists will begin making discoveries in another unseen world (not astral), which will enable them to prove the existence of life after death. Dannion Brinkley might finally get around to restoring ancient facilities and their functions, allowing survivors to talk with their deceased loved ones face-to-face, without the risks of seance/mediumship.
___
I think it'd be a good idea to get back in touch with your ancestral land. A lot of European countries won't be around for much longer. Whether your time is spent with your mother or your aunt, you should strive to make the last days of their life the happiest it could be.
I have a friend who moved to Netherlands, she asked me, "Have you ever heard of the places you live or go to are there to teach you important life lessons?" And she claimed, "When you manage to learn a lesson, you end up in another place. I have been to the most random places I never thought I would make it too because of the lack of funds, etc."
Personal anecdote: She was worried about her mother retiring in a certain country, she followed her there to ensure her safety. She ended up learning more about her roots.
She was told, "if a part of you is missing then it is one's responsibility to go find it."
___
That reminds me of something my friend Kate wrote. She had tried to keep her dad from knowing about the sad things in her life so she could preserve his smile which she found refreshing when she came home from school, her dad not knowing was worth it, "because there was enough bad in the world". Even if you're unable to express it in words, a smile makes a world's difference.
I also talked with a Palestinian user from Lebanon, who told me her parents didn't tell her about what was going on in their ancestral homeland so that she could grow up like other children, she believed they wanted to preserve her innocence or she was too young for it.
"If one sups with sorrow, one need not invite the world to see you eat."
- Ferdinand I of Bulgaria
Frederick the Great wrote in a letter, "I dine alone; I spend my life in reading and writing; and I do not sup. When one is sad, it becomes at last too burdensome to hide one's grief continually; and it is better to give way to it by oneself, than to carry one's gloom into society." But he also said, "Nothing solaces me but the vigorous application required in steady and continuous labor."
Stalin, upon losing his first wife, declared, "My personal life is shattered. Nothing attaches me to life except socialism. I’m going to dedicate my existence to that!"
After his second wife died, he no longer participated in dances, which he liked.
By seeking self-forgetfulness, giving oneself over to a worthy cause or an artistic interest, one can bear suffering a whole lot easier.
___
In my case, I never had happy memories to begin with! I'm unable to remember anything from my childhood, due to mental block (from trauma?) or I was too young. So I started going outside and observing wildlife with my mom, and I've started being happy again.
Point is, we are here to have experiences and learn from them. My friend from Netherlands, who encouraged me to start going outside, told me this:
"Real life is why you are here. You are spreading information and trying to gain knowledge as well for your own cause. Don't get lost in those books and try to experience some things at least. You don't need social contact for that."
It's not your material conditions which make you unhappy, but your way of taking it the wrong way. In my sparetime, I like collecting contemporary stories about fate/destiny. https://old.reddit.com/r/occult/comments...o/hzzmb9m/ "At other times, they might be a part of the greater acting as a vector to show us or give the additional nudge to propel us to a better version of ourselves."
https://old.reddit.com/r/Dreams/comments...1/h6gp2cb/
"That many people have events happen to them which do not come from randomness, but are clearly written by some being or soul out there.
That some of the things in your life are clearly not random and are clearly a story of passion and emotions. How can an event which is felt be soulless?"
The famous German seeress, Buchela, Python of the Rhine, offered this advice:
"Only those who always believe themselves to be down on their luck and never count on happiness will carelessly pass by the provided strands and fail to perceive them in their dull senses. For them, it always remains dark because they do not expect the light and do not want to see it. Believe a little in your happiness and it will come."
I also suffer from OCD. In my case, I'm constantly plagued with intrusive thoughts when I'm not preoccupied, it's part of the reason why I stopped going outside for so long.
As for music, I don't force myself to listen to music, I NEED it to drown out the thoughts. Nietzsche: "How little it takes to make us happy! The sound of a bagpipe. Without music, life would be an error."
I used to have a best friend who lived here, we were thick as thieves, hanged out every day after school, but then he moved away. We assumed we were busy, so neither of us called each other, until I decided to get back in touch with him this year. I've made no close IRL friends ever since.
___
Mom: I can sorta relate to this, although my mom's age isn't nearly advanced.
I'm unable to take care of myself, mostly dependent on her. Despite living with her, I was estranged from her, having spent most of my time at home, I saw her negative side more. We used to get into fights over schoolwork, she'd push me to be successful, and over her dragging me to church. I found her overbearing, nagging. But when I started going out to the park with her this year, I saw more of her positive side, amused by how she interacted with wildlife. It seems people these days don't get many opportunities to show their better side to people.
If something happens to her, I'll likely end up in homeless.
This may sound harsh, but I wouldn't worry about your mom too much if she dies, those strong feelings can detain her here, they still receive our emotions/thoughts. Also, when she breathes her last, she can still hear you, even though she's unable to control her motor functions. The process of death is misunderstood. Friederike Hauffe recommends leaving the window open upon departure.
After 2025, scientists will begin making discoveries in another unseen world (not astral), which will enable them to prove the existence of life after death. Dannion Brinkley might finally get around to restoring ancient facilities and their functions, allowing survivors to talk with their deceased loved ones face-to-face, without the risks of seance/mediumship.
___
(07-29-2024, 06:01 AM)ancientlight Wrote: I worry if I were to travel without my mom, something may happen to her while I'm in the Netherlands. To travel with my mom would be just as stressful.Why would going with her be stressful?
I think it'd be a good idea to get back in touch with your ancestral land. A lot of European countries won't be around for much longer. Whether your time is spent with your mother or your aunt, you should strive to make the last days of their life the happiest it could be.
I have a friend who moved to Netherlands, she asked me, "Have you ever heard of the places you live or go to are there to teach you important life lessons?" And she claimed, "When you manage to learn a lesson, you end up in another place. I have been to the most random places I never thought I would make it too because of the lack of funds, etc."
Personal anecdote: She was worried about her mother retiring in a certain country, she followed her there to ensure her safety. She ended up learning more about her roots.
She was told, "if a part of you is missing then it is one's responsibility to go find it."
___
(07-29-2024, 06:01 AM)ancientlight Wrote: Worst is my son saying he knows I'm depressed (he's 13). I thought I hid it pretty well.When did he find out, how has this affected him? Does it feel like he keeps something from you?
That reminds me of something my friend Kate wrote. She had tried to keep her dad from knowing about the sad things in her life so she could preserve his smile which she found refreshing when she came home from school, her dad not knowing was worth it, "because there was enough bad in the world". Even if you're unable to express it in words, a smile makes a world's difference.
I also talked with a Palestinian user from Lebanon, who told me her parents didn't tell her about what was going on in their ancestral homeland so that she could grow up like other children, she believed they wanted to preserve her innocence or she was too young for it.
"If one sups with sorrow, one need not invite the world to see you eat."
- Ferdinand I of Bulgaria
Frederick the Great wrote in a letter, "I dine alone; I spend my life in reading and writing; and I do not sup. When one is sad, it becomes at last too burdensome to hide one's grief continually; and it is better to give way to it by oneself, than to carry one's gloom into society." But he also said, "Nothing solaces me but the vigorous application required in steady and continuous labor."
Stalin, upon losing his first wife, declared, "My personal life is shattered. Nothing attaches me to life except socialism. I’m going to dedicate my existence to that!"
After his second wife died, he no longer participated in dances, which he liked.
By seeking self-forgetfulness, giving oneself over to a worthy cause or an artistic interest, one can bear suffering a whole lot easier.
___
(07-29-2024, 12:58 PM)ancientlight Wrote: I have a hard time accepting that things will never return to those happier days. I basically spend my days silently grieving my lost happier days...I would urge you to start making new happy memories to replace the old ones.
In my case, I never had happy memories to begin with! I'm unable to remember anything from my childhood, due to mental block (from trauma?) or I was too young. So I started going outside and observing wildlife with my mom, and I've started being happy again.
Point is, we are here to have experiences and learn from them. My friend from Netherlands, who encouraged me to start going outside, told me this:
"Real life is why you are here. You are spreading information and trying to gain knowledge as well for your own cause. Don't get lost in those books and try to experience some things at least. You don't need social contact for that."
(07-29-2024, 12:58 PM)ancientlight Wrote: If I could just cut out the OCD from my head, make my mom and aunt 20 years younger each, and eliminate all evil 1%ers my problems would be manageable and I would be so much happier again. Of course this can't happen, not in life anyway.But life does end like that. Fairy tales reflect life more truly than modern works. The evil 1%ers are working furiously because they know they don't have enough time to carry out all of their plans, their days are numbered.
It's not your material conditions which make you unhappy, but your way of taking it the wrong way. In my sparetime, I like collecting contemporary stories about fate/destiny. https://old.reddit.com/r/occult/comments...o/hzzmb9m/ "At other times, they might be a part of the greater acting as a vector to show us or give the additional nudge to propel us to a better version of ourselves."
https://old.reddit.com/r/Dreams/comments...1/h6gp2cb/
"That many people have events happen to them which do not come from randomness, but are clearly written by some being or soul out there.
That some of the things in your life are clearly not random and are clearly a story of passion and emotions. How can an event which is felt be soulless?"
The famous German seeress, Buchela, Python of the Rhine, offered this advice:
"Only those who always believe themselves to be down on their luck and never count on happiness will carelessly pass by the provided strands and fail to perceive them in their dull senses. For them, it always remains dark because they do not expect the light and do not want to see it. Believe a little in your happiness and it will come."
I also suffer from OCD. In my case, I'm constantly plagued with intrusive thoughts when I'm not preoccupied, it's part of the reason why I stopped going outside for so long.
As for music, I don't force myself to listen to music, I NEED it to drown out the thoughts. Nietzsche: "How little it takes to make us happy! The sound of a bagpipe. Without music, life would be an error."
(07-29-2024, 12:58 PM)ancientlight Wrote: I miss the old days with my aunt, my best friend, when my mom was younger and I didn't constantly worry about her.Music may help bringing these memories back to the surface. I came across a strangely fascinating experience which was neither a dream nor a vision. It was just some guy reminiscencing about his past, while listening to music dozing off. Most importantly, he had resolved himself to be happy and appreciate what he has.