Need input from fellow Rogues. Is this bitchiness?

[Bally002]

G'day all.

I am putting this forward more to ask how I might employ a task to combat what I consider just utter and complete bitchiness.

My 'true love' has been recently employed at a 24/7 roadside stop.  It's 'night shifts' and she caters for 'truckies' and those who travel the lonely highway looking for a rest spot and feed.  She cooks and provides meals.

 'Truey' is well experienced having been the manager of 'fast food' restaurants for some years and employed by me to provide meals for prisoners as well as clean those occupied cells after they prisoners have been transferred to the court for justice.  Also this 'true angel' has followed me around with children and encompassed herself with immediate employment including lifeguarding at recreational parks.

I could go on but she's my best mate. 

To the point.  At this roadside restaurant her boss or 'stupervisor' advises her that she should, advise this (her) supervisor/manager of intending requests for a day off or shift change.  

True love asked for one 'rostered' day off to watch an Australian game of Rugby League.  i.e. 'State of Origin'   She has been a fan of this since her younger childhood.  She did this weeks in advance.

Sorry to bore you if I am but this game is like the 'world series' to us and we enjoy travelling to our country mates locations to actively partake of a nights entertainment.  Happens 3 times per year.  'Best out of 3'. 

So 'Truey' organises with her boss to have that evening off (weeks in advance) to watch the game and enjoy a night with our mates where it was our turn to provide the food and eats (nibblies). 

'Sure' says the boss.  'Thanks for letting me know in advance'.

So, all is organised.  

To coin an Aussie phrase - "Yeah/Nah"  

This game kicks off at 8pm.  Goes for 40 minutes a side then another 40 minutes after half time.  So about 2 hours.

Boss says, 'I rostered you to start at 10pm so you can watch the game and enjoy yourself'  

If you say 'Wait! What!' in American terms,  it's like Yeah/nah' here in Australia.

Do the math from here.  My lovely 'true love' needs 1 hour (at least) to get to work.  Dodges kangaroos an all.  Before a shift from 10pm to 6am she needs to have a sleep..  So she is sleeping as I type this.  Not watching the game myself.  Who gives an eff.  My lady is supporting our lifestyle sleeping while her boss is thinking "i've done the right thing'.

Working for a living, a paying job is a job, but knowing my wife's boss, this is simply being a bitch and she thinks "I own you'.

This is simply a 'bitch act' and not noble at all.

The boss is smart enough to play games with peoples lives.

I despise people like this. 

My wife always smiles and helps out where ever she can.  This better not happen on Christmas day.

Sick of bitchy hormonal people. Mess with my 'true love' then regardless of her saying, 'Let it go."  I'll figure a way to 'FU too dirt bag bitch'.

We are too old for this type of Ess H Eye Tea.

Kind regards to all,

Bally and 'True Love'

[F2d5thCav]

Bally--

Sounds petty from what you describe.  Could there have been some miscommunication, as in some assumptions made about what was understood on both sides ?  Ask that only because from both the worker and manager side, I've had some unpleasant surprises on that score.

But certainly no shortage of 'bosses' in this world who are completely unsuited to manage other people.

Cheers

[Bally002]

Bally--

Sounds petty from what you describe.  Could their have been some miscommunication, as in some assumptions made about what was understood on both sides ?  Ask that only because from both the worker and manager side, I've had some unpleasant surprises on that score.

But certainly no shortage of 'bosses' in this world who are completely unsuited to manage other people.

Cheers

Yes it is petty.  No miscommunication in advance.  Boss gave her the rostered day off but changed it then citing other staff could not fill that shift at short notice.

This is regardless that she, my wife, had notified her intentions well before anyone else knowing that this was what the boss required.

There is employment here in Straya titled 'casual'.  Pays good rates above, "full time' and 'part time' which are set rates.  Casual means you are at the determination of the 'boss' at short notice.  This means the 'roster' maker can change your shifts at that short notice.  If you have a whinge' or complaint about that then forget about getting hours.  You can be passed over for work.  It's 'casual rates'.  That's it.   Either that or you're unemployed.  So she works her 40 hours a week.

In my mind its a power thing for a supervisor or boss.  'True love' has never displeased anyone and to my regard is a loyal and honest worker.   Maybe I'm biased.  But in real Australian terms you don't eff your workers or 'mates' for that matter.  

My missus has gone to work and that silly game on TV is progressing.  She didn't have time to sit down and appreciate her fav sport.  Clean pressed uniform on, I made her some overnight dinner and she's off to work (bout an hour away) for another nightshift.

She'll be back home in the morning tomorrow, bout 7.30am.  We'll load up with wood for another delivery.  This is why I hate bitchy hormonal bosses who disregard hard workers even for one night.

My tragic weaknesses are in this respect. 

Don't mess with my partners feelings.  There is a follow on and after effect at home.

Mess with my partner, (best mate) you mess with me.

Wouldn't recommend exercising undue control over my mate, she's an angel.  Your time will come.

My best mate estimates me.  We're a team. You're a fool to underestimate her.

I could go on Cav but that may be a little boring.

Simply putting forward, for a simple reason, don't be nasty to a person who hasn't a bad bone in their body because there is another who will stick up for that person who has a bone to pick.

Kind regards and cheers for your thoughtful reply,

Bally.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

True love asked for one 'rostered' day off to watch an Australian game of Rugby League.  i.e. 'State of Origin'   She has been a fan of this since her younger childhood.  She did this weeks in advance.

True Love asked for, and was given a day off. She did not request a couple of hours off. She made an unauthorized change in True Love's schedule, and the only way to deal with that is to call her on it. "You teach people how to treat you".

My last boss tried to play freely with my schedule, which was partially my fault because, I had always been the "go to" person if there was a problem. So she just decided she could adjust my schedule as she pleased. 

I never said anything until she started adjusting my schedule to accommodate the requests of others, putting my requests on the back burner. I was forced to decrease my flexibility.

I found the best way to handle the situation was to have a good old heart to heart.
I was overly respectful, and approached it in a friendly non accusatory manner.

I told her that because my family needed me, and because of commitments I had made to my community and church, I could no longer be as flexible with my schedule as I had been in the past. 

I gave her the days and times that I would be available. I explained if there was an emergency, I would try to help out, if I could.

I also gave her my list of cut in stone holidays. We have a family reunion every year at Thanksgiving. I take off Thanksgiving week every year. I make that a condition of employment right from the jump. So being the new kid on the block with new employment doesn't garner me that classical no holidays off the first year for newbies. Though my days of being a newbie ever again is long past.

From past experiences, the best way to handle a bitch is to be straight up with them, and give them no wiggle room.

If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

---

Bally--

Sounds petty from what you describe.  Could their have been some miscommunication, as in some assumptions made about what was understood on both sides ?  Ask that only because from both the worker and manager side, I've had some unpleasant surprises on that score.

But certainly no shortage of 'bosses' in this world who are completely unsuited to manage other people.

Cheers

Yes it is petty.  No miscommunication in advance.  Boss gave her the rostered day off but changed it then citing other staff could not fill that shift at short notice.

This is regardless that she, my wife, had notified her intentions well before anyone else knowing that this was what the boss required.

There is employment here in Straya titled 'casual'.  Pays good rates above, "full time' and 'part time' which are set rates.  Casual means you are at the determination of the 'boss' at short notice.  This means the 'roster' maker can change your shifts at that short notice.  If you have a whinge' or complaint about that then forget about getting hours.  You can be passed over for work.  It's 'casual rates'.  That's it.   Either that or you're unemployed.  So she works her 40 hours a week.

In my mind its a power thing for a supervisor or boss.  'True love' has never displeased anyone and to my regard is a loyal and honest worker.   Maybe I'm biased.  But in real Australian terms you don't eff your workers or 'mates' for that matter.  

My missus has gone to work and that silly game on TV is progressing.  She didn't have time to sit down and appreciate her fav sport.  Clean pressed uniform on, I made her some overnight dinner and she's off to work (bout an hour away) for another nightshift.

She'll be back home in the morning tomorrow, bout 7.30am.  We'll load up with wood for another delivery.  This is why I hate bitchy hormonal bosses who disregard hard workers even for one night.

My tragic weaknesses are in this respect. 

Don't mess with my partners feelings.  There is a follow on and after effect at home.

Mess with my partner, (best mate) you mess with me.

Wouldn't recommend exercising undue control over my mate, she's an angel.  Your time will come.

My best mate estimates me.  We're a team. You're a fool to underestimate her.

I could go on Cav but that may be a little boring.

Simply putting forward, for a simple reason, don't be nasty to a person who hasn't a bad bone in their body because there is another who will stick up for that person who has a bone to pick.

Kind regards and cheers for your thoughtful reply,

Bally.

I see how it works now.

I don't know the whole story, so I don't know why she would take away True Love's requested day off, in favor of another employee. It could have been a life or death reason, and it should have been explained, instead of taking her time and making it look like she did her a favor.

I am leaning towards True Love being known to be the path of least resistance. I was that employee one time too. They screwed up when they killed off the goose that laid the golden eggs. And they know it. I can't go back to being that flexible, go to person again. Because they will only go back to using me again.

This one is going to be True Love's call. Sorry Bally, but you are going to have to sit this one out. Anything you do or say is not going to make things better for True Love, unless getting her fired is a good thing.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

I don't know how scarce jobs are in your area but in the past when bosses have tried to pull a stunt like that I quickly informed him/her that I was being polite by notifying them that I would not be coming to work that day and that it was a statement of fact and not a request. To be fair though I was raised with the attitude that "I was looking for a job when I found that one" meaning there are other jobs to be found- which may or may not be true in your area. Regardless if your honey's boss is allowed to get away with it this time it will continue to happen so best to nip it in the butt now.

[Chiefsmom]

I've dealt with bitchy, petty female bosses like this, it is not fun.  I won't do it again, that is for sure.

[Bally002]

True love asked for one 'rostered' day off to watch an Australian game of Rugby League.  i.e. 'State of Origin'   She has been a fan of this since her younger childhood.  She did this weeks in advance.

True Love asked for, and was given a day off. She did not request a couple of hours off. She made an unauthorized change in True Love's schedule, and the only way to deal with that is to call her on it. "You teach people how to treat you".

My last boss tried to play freely with my schedule, which was partially my fault because, I had always been the "go to" person if there was a problem. So she just decided she could adjust my schedule as she pleased. 

I never said anything until she started adjusting my schedule to accommodate the requests of others, putting my requests on the back burner. I was forced to decrease my flexibility.

I found the best way to handle the situation was to have a good old heart to heart.
I was overly respectful, and approached it in a friendly non accusatory manner.

I told her that because my family needed me, and because of commitments I had made to my community and church, I could no longer be as flexible with my schedule as I had been in the past. 

I gave her the days and times that I would be available. I explained if there was an emergency, I would try to help out, if I could.

I also gave her my list of cut in stone holidays. We have a family reunion every year at Thanksgiving. I take off Thanksgiving week every year. I make that a condition of employment right from the jump. So being the new kid on the block with new employment doesn't garner me that classical no holidays off the first year for newbies. Though my days of being a newbie ever again is long past.

From past experiences, the best way to handle a bitch is to be straight up with them, and give them no wiggle room.

If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

---

Bally--

Sounds petty from what you describe.  Could their have been some miscommunication, as in some assumptions made about what was understood on both sides ?  Ask that only because from both the worker and manager side, I've had some unpleasant surprises on that score.

But certainly no shortage of 'bosses' in this world who are completely unsuited to manage other people.

Cheers

Yes it is petty.  No miscommunication in advance.  Boss gave her the rostered day off but changed it then citing other staff could not fill that shift at short notice.

This is regardless that she, my wife, had notified her intentions well before anyone else knowing that this was what the boss required.

There is employment here in Straya titled 'casual'.  Pays good rates above, "full time' and 'part time' which are set rates.  Casual means you are at the determination of the 'boss' at short notice.  This means the 'roster' maker can change your shifts at that short notice.  If you have a whinge' or complaint about that then forget about getting hours.  You can be passed over for work.  It's 'casual rates'.  That's it.   Either that or you're unemployed.  So she works her 40 hours a week.

In my mind its a power thing for a supervisor or boss.  'True love' has never displeased anyone and to my regard is a loyal and honest worker.   Maybe I'm biased.  But in real Australian terms you don't eff your workers or 'mates' for that matter.  

My missus has gone to work and that silly game on TV is progressing.  She didn't have time to sit down and appreciate her fav sport.  Clean pressed uniform on, I made her some overnight dinner and she's off to work (bout an hour away) for another nightshift.

She'll be back home in the morning tomorrow, bout 7.30am.  We'll load up with wood for another delivery.  This is why I hate bitchy hormonal bosses who disregard hard workers even for one night.

My tragic weaknesses are in this respect. 

Don't mess with my partners feelings.  There is a follow on and after effect at home.

Mess with my partner, (best mate) you mess with me.

Wouldn't recommend exercising undue control over my mate, she's an angel.  Your time will come.

My best mate estimates me.  We're a team. You're a fool to underestimate her.

I could go on Cav but that may be a little boring.

Simply putting forward, for a simple reason, don't be nasty to a person who hasn't a bad bone in their body because there is another who will stick up for that person who has a bone to pick.

Kind regards and cheers for your thoughtful reply,

Bally.

I see how it works now.

I don't know the whole story, so I don't know why she would take away True Love's requested day off, in favor of another employee. It could have been a life or death reason, and it should have been explained, instead of taking her time and making it look like she did her a favor.

I am leaning towards True Love being known to be the path of least resistance. I was that employee one time too. They screwed up when they killed off the goose that laid the golden eggs. And they know it. I can't go back to being that flexible, go to person again. Because they will only go back to using me again.

This one is going to be True Love's call. Sorry Bally, but you are going to have to sit this one out. Anything you do or say is not going to make things better for True Love, unless getting her fired is a good thing.

Of course it is True Loves call.  But I still can't disregard it is a bitch act.  There are other reasons I haven't alluded to citing only the petty discord I have tabled.  Apart from the silly football game there are some racing (horse) carnivals that are celebrated locally which involves the shutting down of business centres for certain hours for public holiday reasons.  Call it picnic days.

You can tidy up and choose to go to these events during the week. Call it a boy's or girls day out for a couple of days.  True love isn't invited.  Doesn't wear a dress (prefers jeans and T shirt), she isn't interested in getting drunk/sloshed in public arenas and has no need to be a spectacle.  All she wanted to do was sit down and watch a game with friends on the television this one time wearing her team jumper. 

Working as she does without taking sick days etc I can see this situ is a smack down for her.  I guess I also see her smiling over the top of a sad interior.  Kinda a fake smile.  She has never taken advantage of anybody in our time together and being the bread winner now I will support her and openly express my dissatisfaction for indiscretions aimed towards her due to her nature.

I am reacting for her as I have had enough of others taking advantage.  So it's hard to sit this out.  It's small things overtime that become an issue.  She is my weak link.  Hurt my lady and you hurt me ten fold.  If 'truey' was a bitch herself I don't think I'd feel the same way.  

Thanks for you reply,

Bally

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

I don't know how scarce jobs are in your area but in the past when bosses have tried to pull a stunt like that I quickly informed him/her that I was being polite by notifying them that I would not be coming to work that day and that it was a statement of fact and not a request. To be fair though I was raised with the attitude that "I was looking for a job when I found that one" meaning there are other jobs to be found- which may or may not be true in your area. Regardless if your honey's boss is allowed to get away with it this time it will continue to happen so best to nip it in the butt now.

Unfortunately, I too suffer from that same personality trait, and I share the mantra of "I was looking for a job when I found this one".

I truly believe the only reason why I still have the job I have is because of the rapid turnover in personnel. My job is not for the faint of heart. So they put up with my standing up to them.

A person that is kind, tolerant, and flexible, is pure gold in this day and time. But are rarely respected and valued the way they should be. In the meantime, the rude, nasty, bitchy ones are the ones, that they fear, and won't mess with. So the good employee gets the short end of the stick.

[Bally002]

I don't know how scarce jobs are in your area but in the past when bosses have tried to pull a stunt like that I quickly informed him/her that I was being polite by notifying them that I would not be coming to work that day and that it was a statement of fact and not a request. To be fair though I was raised with the attitude that "I was looking for a job when I found that one" meaning there are other jobs to be found- which may or may not be true in your area. Regardless if your honey's boss is allowed to get away with it this time it will continue to happen so best to nip it in the butt now.

Being rural where we are, a job with reasonable pay and plenty of hours is hard to come by.  Generally it's 3 to 4 hours at most per 3 days a week.  That's the way a casual employee of my wifes age can expect.  Her current job is 8 hours, 5 days a week, night shifts mostly which has a wage loading that makes it worthwhile employment in this locale. 

I feel her boss is trying to tame her and to nip that in the butt will require some tangible excuses.  Her employ is not easy to come by.  It required a certain number of courses (13) and some finance.  I guess for both of us it's a learning curve at our age and while I can adjust for her we will have to adapt some strategies and overcome my ill will towards her treatment  i.e. out thinking the boss.  

In saying that this should not have to be the case.

Appreciate your thoughts,

Kindly,

Bally.

---

I've dealt with bitchy, petty female bosses like this, it is not fun.  I won't do it again, that is for sure.

Not confined to petty female bosses mate.  Like you I was in the navy.  My initial time was a torment not unexpected but the years on a carrier at sea where I saw senior men lose it for no real reason after a couple of months added to that torment and I did not understand.  

The few older men that did lose it after months at sea invariably cast their woes upon the lower ranks and you just copped it as you did in the navy.  But others have opposite views.  I still regard my sea time as the best.

Regards,

Bally

---

I don't know how scarce jobs are in your area but in the past when bosses have tried to pull a stunt like that I quickly informed him/her that I was being polite by notifying them that I would not be coming to work that day and that it was a statement of fact and not a request. To be fair though I was raised with the attitude that "I was looking for a job when I found that one" meaning there are other jobs to be found- which may or may not be true in your area. Regardless if your honey's boss is allowed to get away with it this time it will continue to happen so best to nip it in the butt now.

Unfortunately, I too suffer from that same personality trait, and I share the mantra of "I was looking for a job when I found this one".

I truly believe the only reason why I still have the job I have is because of the rapid turnover in personnel. My job is not for the faint of heart. So they put up with my standing up to them.

A person that is kind, tolerant, and flexible, is pure gold in this day and time. But are rarely respected and valued the way they should be. In the meantime, the rude, nasty, bitchy ones are the ones, that they fear, and won't mess with. So the good employee gets the short end of the stick.

Cheers.  Being the third party. so to speak, for my wife, this is the view I see.

Bally)

[Schmoe]

It's such a shame when supervisors can make or break an otherwise good job.  I currently have decent supervisors, but I've certainly had shitty ones over the years.  Usually they're not going anywhere, so I do.

Bally, has she had issues in the past with this manager?

[Ninurta]

I don't know if there may be cultural differences at play or not, but yeah, from my perspective that supervisory behavior is just bitchiness.

In most of the supervisory roles I've taken, if I fucked up someone's schedule, then my happy supervisory ass had to go in to fill the gaps created. If I promised an employee something, then that something got delivered, come hell or high water. I don't break promises, and I don't expect someone to work for me if I can't keep my promise to them.

So if I tell someone they have a day off they've requested, that is exactly what is going to happen, even if I have to fill the gap myself. There is no "gee, I messed the schedule up, so since I messed up, you will suffer for it and give up the day off I promised you".

That attitude has payed off over time - I've had some of the most loyal workers possible over my time. I had one crew that mutineed when the company tried to step down my position because of budget overrun concerns. All 25 of them told the higher ups that if they cut me, they were REALLY gonna have some budget problems with no one working for them to bring in the revenue.

I had another guy tell me once that there was nothing I could ask the folks on the crew to do that they wouldn't at least try, because they all knew I wouldn't ask them to do anything I wouldn't do myself.

Everyone whose ever worked for me knew I had their back if the shit got rough. You can't expect folks to give you their best if you are not willing to reciprocate that as their manager.

Because of her actions, Truey's manager is not fit to manage, from my perspective. She is not "managing", she is "dictating". It's easy to dictate, and hard to manage, but managing pays off much better in the long run in employee loyalty. You don't crap on the good employees to cover for the bad ones - you fire the bad ones and fill the gaps yourself until such time as you can hire to replace them.

Just my perspective.

.

[Bally002]

It's such a shame when supervisors can make or break an otherwise good job.  I currently have decent supervisors, but I've certainly had shitty ones over the years.  Usually they're not going anywhere, so I do.

Bally, has she had issues in the past with this manager?

Truey is in a new position.  Supervisor/manager is new to her too.  So I guess it is a learning curve.

She has only just got home this morning and seems in good spirits otherwise.  She listened to the results of her game after travelling last night.  She got on with the job.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Bally)

---

At this juncture I want to thank all for their input.  

My rant about treatment of workers is something akin to what @"Ninurta"#2 alluded to and in this case (her work place) I felt it was unwarranted when directed to my 'bread winner'.  Bit personal to me.

The thoughts expressed here and the caring attitude by all was a booster shot for me.  

Cheers to all of you for your input.  Not gratifying in the sense that others have been through this as I have in the past but the replies did wake me out of the frustration I felt.

I raise my Blend 43 Nescafe coffee to you all.

Bally)

---