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Kwai Chang Caine Re-Imagined - Printable Version

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Kwai Chang Caine Re-Imagined - Michigan Swamp Buck - 03-12-2025

I've been catching the Kung Fu TV series on broadcast TV lately and find that I have some of the same criticisms as I did when I watched the show as a kid in the 1970s.

First off, the show bored the hell out of me until Kwai Chang beat the hell out of the ignorant cowboys and racist bigots. It was true for me then, even more so now. Even as a kid, I felt he should have done more than self-defense and laid in with a few extra blows or special moves to teach them a good lesson they'd understand.

The Taoist philosophy was cool, but the flashbacks were mostly lame to me as a kid. I was more into the ass kicking he was giving to all the assholes he encountered. I did like many of the mystical aspects involved in the plot lines, but the constant flashbacks were a distraction in my opinion. In fact, during some of my recent viewings, I found the lessons of his masters, esp. Mater Po, to be unintelligible at times.

Now I find myself re-imagining the Kwai Chang Caine character into a less of a nonviolent Eastern Philosophy Icon and into more of a post Civil War Old West Desperado running from the law. Consider, if he murdered the nephew of the emperor of China, then basically he was a wanted criminal and a high level murderer and assassin. He's be hard pressed to say he was a devote Shaolin priest with high moral standards after that stunt.


I'd say he was in a desperate situation after running all the way to the territories of the Old West and wandering around the desert barefoot in the blistering sun. I'd rather see Caine resort to compromising his strict Shaolin practices to survive his hardships, maybe even embrace a darker side of his teachings to continue his quest. I'm also thinking about having him adopt some of the Native American beliefs and culture as well as others along the way so he can be even stronger of a character. How about an episode where instead of kicking cowboy butt, he gets drunk with them and and rants about how lame the masters at the temple really were. Then they go into town to the whorehouse and tear the place down.

I noticed recently that the Caine character was referred to as thinly built and skinny, even though David Carradine wasn't that thin. Due to his strict Shaolin diet, he refused meals whenever offered and would only drink water or Chinese tea if people had it. I say he has to kill something and eat it to survive at some point and that has him change his diet to include protein. Maybe at first he eats locusts and grubs by tossing them in this tea he makes because he is starving to death. After this first rush of protein, he begins to find excuses to eat bigger game until a steak is welcomed when offered. Then he bulks up a little and gains tremendous strength due to his dietary changes.

I can see a new version of Kung Fu come out with a more realistic Caine character that becomes something more than what was presented in the original version. Not some half-starved mystic warrior always fighting for the high moral ground in an Old West full of racist white settlers, but an underdog anti-hero with questionable ethics that kicks ass if provoked.

ETA: Thought I'd add, I don't see anyone like Carradine playing this re-imagined character. The new guy should have a built body with a head of thick styled hair and some facial hair too. He should be loud and commanding at times, maybe even a leader of a gang of rouges for a while. He won't avert his gaze and could kill you with a glance.

en.wikipedia.org


RE: Kwai Chang Caine Re-Imagined - Ninurta - 03-12-2025

(03-12-2025, 02:04 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: First off, the show bored the hell out of me until Kwai Chang beat the hell out of the ignorant cowboys and racist bigots. It was true for me then, even more so now. Even as a kid, I felt he should have done more than self-defense and laid in with a few extra blows or special moves to teach them a good lesson they'd understand.

That wouldn't work from either a practical or a philosophical standpoint. You can beat a man into knowledge, but you can't beat a man into intelligence. That would be like trying to beat the spots off of a leopard.

So, such a beating would only "teach a lesson" of how to better hide it, not a lesson in thinking from a higher vantage point. In other words, you'd just teach them to be sneakier about it, and that would get passed on to their offspring.

.


RE: Kwai Chang Caine Re-Imagined - Michigan Swamp Buck - 03-13-2025

(03-12-2025, 06:47 PM)Ninurta Wrote:
(03-12-2025, 02:04 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: First off, the show bored the hell out of me until Kwai Chang beat the hell out of the ignorant cowboys and racist bigots. It was true for me then, even more so now. Even as a kid, I felt he should have done more than self-defense and laid in with a few extra blows or special moves to teach them a good lesson they'd understand.

That wouldn't work from either a practical or a philosophical standpoint. You can beat a man into knowledge, but you can't beat a man into intelligence. That would be like trying to beat the spots off of a leopard.

So, such a beating would only "teach a lesson" of how to better hide it, not a lesson in thinking from a higher vantage point. In other words, you'd just teach them to be sneakier about it, and that would get passed on to their offspring.

.

I was thinking more along the lines of how the white ignorant bigot settlers and cowboys were used to a good ass whooping when they got out of line. So they expected to go to the woodshed for a strapping when they didn't listen and follow the rules. That was how they learned 'em back then in the Old West. Of course you had a good lynching if they didn't get learnt. So I'm saying they were conditioned to pay attention only after they got what fer.

I'm not suggesting that Caine could actually beat them into a higher state of consciousness and have them become enlightened beings. Although, now that I think of it . . .

Pound them not just into submission, but all the way to Nirvana. I like that line of thinking, that Kwai Chang Caine had become a master to the point of using martial arts to the highest degree of beating the sense into someone.

Kwai Chang Paine! This is starting to get good, thanks!