How Did I Become A Grandma?

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Everyone knows by now that I went away to visit with family and we had a family reunion that was long overdue.

It was amazing, as I have said a thousand time by now, but we also had a number of memorable moments that will be shared for a many reunions still to come. One of those events I am still having trouble making sense out of.

I am the oldest of ten children. I have been carrying for my siblings all my life. My responsibilities became clear to me when I was about 8 years old. I made breakfast, washed dishes, walked my siblings to the babysitter and picked them up and walked them back home, after I came home from school.

It was as natural as breathing, and I never thought anything of it really. When we became older, and my siblings realized how much they relied on my care, they started to call me, "Mom 2". I get holiday and birthday cards, all addressed to me as Mom 2. But all of my nieces and nephews know me as Auntie, or Big Auntie.

I have a new niece. She is three years old. I was introduced to her as Big Auntie. The next day I was walking up the stairs, she was ahead of me, in case she fell, I could catch her. Halfway up she stopped. She came back down the stairs. She took my hand and said, "Come on Grandma".

Now here is what I find odd. She has two grandmothers. She calls both of them Nana. She has a great grandmother, she calls her Big Nana. She does not call anyone grandma but me. And no one in the family calls anyone grandma, so they don't even know where she got the word from.

The whole week, anytime anyone asked her what my name was, she would say, "Grandma". When she was corrected she would say "Auntie", or "Big Auntie", then say "I am sorry Grandma".

Weird?? I am probably thinking too much into it, but it is interesting, if nothing else.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

I have no idea on the grandma calling, other than kids say & come up with the oddest things.

[Nightskyeb4dawn2]

I have no idea on the grandma calling, other than kids say & come up with the oddest things.

That they do. And yes bell bottoms pants, fishnet stockings and hullabaloo boots.

What the hell were we thinking?

[Freija]

I became a grandma at 41. How the hell did THAT happen? 

[Nightskyeb4dawn2]

I became a grandma at 41. How the hell did THAT happen? 

I guess becoming a grandma is not a result of anything that we do directly.

I think our little lady is going to cause a bit of confusion in the family tree storyline.

Sort of what I did a number of years back. My mother had four brothers and one sister.

My little two year old brain figured out that siblings of my mother were all Uncles. So my Aunt became an uncle too.

For years afterwards, right on up to today, people that don't know the story, get that puzzled look on their face when someone says Uncle Patsy.

I guess in little Brooklyn's mind, all old female relatives are Nana's. I am still puzzled about why I get the unfamiliar title of grandma. 

I fear I may be stuck with it, because my family thinks it is funny, and are now joining in on bestowing me with the new moniker.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

Look at it as an honor! I am "Granny" to not only my own grandchildren but to my adopted nephew's children as well and Kdog is "Grampy" to them. In fact on Kdog's birthday our grandson and my nephew's two littles all video called to sing happy birthday to "Grampy". As far as that goes I am also "Granny" to our granddaughter's best friend of many years. My own grandmother was also "Granny" to my two lifelong best friends even after we all grew up.

Yes they have "real" grandparents but as far as I'm concerned little children (and even some big ones) can never have enough grandparents to love them! So be "Grandma" to the little angel and enjoy it! 

My grandma from dad's side was absolutely wonderful.

Unbelievably strong woman with a greatly amusing sense of humor. I think we have that in common. Using humor as a weapon against despair.

She had to run away when she was a kid. Because the Russians did what Russians always do. They invaded. So she found a new home from southwest Finland and found a husband also. An alcoholic husband. And had an alcoholic son with him. And that son had the alcoholic me.

My grandma used to say that if her husband did not drink, life would simply be too good. Too good. So she kinda accepted it. As a teen, i sometimes stole her dry vodka. She had a drink or two maybe couple of times a month or so. Never saw her drunk. But her husband, my grandpa, drank like hell. How are you gonna get away with stealing vodka in that scenario? She just asked, in the mornings "Did you drink my dry vodka without permission" and i said "no". I understand now that she knew i lied. I'm sorry. I just wanted to numb the pain and i was a teenage punk who thought he knows everything about everything, and more.

She was awesome in the kitchen. It was next level cooking. Everything was super tasty and looked good also.

I miss her. She has been dead for like... 22 years or so but i still think about her often. She had an influence. Very brave and often funny woman. She went through a whole lot of shit, obviously, but always held her chin up, never gave up. And i will never forget her. Ever. I swear.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful person, and you were lucky to have had her in your life. My maternal grandmother died when I was a toddler, I was close to two years old. I barely remember much about her.

My paternal grandmother hated my mother, and I think she hated us more. She called us half-breeds and favored her other grandchildren  over us. She would lock us out of our own home, and would give the meals our mother left for us when she went to work, to her other grandchildren and would allow us to go hungry until our mother came back home.

This went on until I was old enough to speak for myself, and my father put a stop to it, though he did not want to believe his mother was so cruel and evil. My grandmother got sick and could not take care of herself, guess who stepped up to the plate. She treated my mother and us like less than, the whole time we were growing up. She caused a divide among my father's side of the family and us for years. Even after her death. Yet my mother was the only one that took her in and cared for her. Us children stayed by her side for years until her death. She would cry sometimes saying how badly she treated us, and how we were with her and treating her with such kindness after all she had done to us. But I never remembered hearing her say the words, "I am sorry", or "I love you". But I did forgive her. Almost all of my family on my father's side have reconnected, after we were able to remove the clouds of history. In fact we are pretty tight with some of them, though it took a while to merge all the family.

Grandmas come in all shapes, sizes, and with varying personalities. I had one that was evil and a great grandmother that was awesome. I think the both helped mold who I am, which I think is not so bad. Believe it or not, I love them both. I think they both prepared me for the life I had to face and to battle.

I was not that keen on being called "grandma", but it is sort of starting to grow on me.

[wtbengineer]

Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful person, and you were lucky to have had her in your life. My maternal grandmother died when I was a toddler, I was close to two years old. I barely remember much about her.

My paternal grandmother hated my mother, and I think she hated us more. She called us half-breeds and favored her other grandchildren  over us. She would lock us out of our own home, and would give the meals our mother left for us when she went to work, to her other grandchildren and would allow us to go hungry until our mother came back home.

This went on until I was old enough to speak for myself, and my father put a stop to it, though he did not want to believe his mother was so cruel and evil. My grandmother got sick and could not take care of herself, guess who stepped up to the plate. She treated my mother and us like less than, the whole time we were growing up. She caused a divide among my father's side of the family and us for years. Even after her death. Yet my mother was the only one that took her in and cared for her. Us children stayed by her side for years until her death. She would cry sometimes saying how badly she treated us, and how we were with her and treating her with such kindness after all she had done to us. But I never remembered hearing her say the words, "I am sorry", or "I love you". But I did forgive her. Almost all of my family on my father's side have reconnected, after we were able to remove the clouds of history. In fact we are pretty tight with some of them, though it took a while to merge all the family.

Grandmas come in all shapes, sizes, and with varying personalities. I had one that was evil and a great grandmother that was awesome. I think the both helped mold who I am, which I think is not so bad. Believe it or not, I love them both. I think they both prepared me for the life I had to face and to battle.

I was not that keen on being called "grandma", but it is sort of starting to grow on me.

I never really did get used to being called grandaddy, that's what my grandkids call me, grandaddy.  But I've had 5 for the longest time now, the oldest is 14.  Well, today I have 6 grandkids!  My daughter just had a little girl this morning!  Just what she was hoping for btw.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

I never really did get used to being called grandaddy, that's what my grandkids call me, grandaddy.  But I've had 5 for the longest time now, the oldest is 14.  Well, today I have 6 grandkids!  My daughter just had a little girl this morning!  Just what she was hoping for btw.

Congratulations Granddaddy!

I find joy in the little ones, and I try to make each moment as memorable for them as they do for me.

I think you may not realize it but "Granddaddy", may be a little hard to get used to, but it will bring a warmth to your soul, every time you hear your grandkids call you by that name.

I never really did get used to being called grandaddy, that's what my grandkids call me, grandaddy.  But I've had 5 for the longest time now, the oldest is 14.  Well, today I have 6 grandkids!  My daughter just had a little girl this morning!  Just what she was hoping for btw.

That is just beautiful!

Congratulations!

I have always liked kids due to their purity, honesty, cuteness and them not yet being programmed. And i think that they are the most valuable thing humankind has. Because without kids, humankind would literally have no future, at all. That is why we need to teach stuff to children and protect them, and have fun too.

Sometimes i wonder how would it be like, to be a dad. I am not even gonna ask you. I think it is like i am asking a person to describe "Yellow" to me if i am colorblind. Sometimes some people have asked me how some particular drug feels like. How am i supposed to explain a feeling with words? Impossible.

Some say that they are blessed, because they have kids. And it really seems to be the case. Well, i can say that i am blessed because i do not have kids. Yes, i like them, but i am absolutely irresponsible and reckless. And i think that it is better that i do not spread my genes around. That might sound like eugenics, and maybe that is exactly what it is. But i do not view eugenics as wrong if i practice it upon myself.

Welcome to the world, new little girl. I apologize that us adults have left a huge mess for you to deal with eventually, but i have faith in future generations, and their bravery, wisdom and compassion.

[Snarl]

You grandparents are so lucky!!

I've had to accept I will never be a grandpa. My daughter's a diabetic and afraid she'll pass it on. My son's smart enough to know he won't survive marriage and likes having the whole paycheck he earns.

Great read this thread. Thanks NSB4D!!

[wtbengineer]

I never really did get used to being called grandaddy, that's what my grandkids call me, grandaddy.  But I've had 5 for the longest time now, the oldest is 14.  Well, today I have 6 grandkids!  My daughter just had a little girl this morning!  Just what she was hoping for btw.

Congratulations Granddaddy!

I find joy in the little ones, and I try to make each moment as memorable for them as they do for me.

I think you may not realize it but "Granddaddy", may be a little hard to get used to, but it will bring a warmth to your soul, every time you hear your grandkids call you by that name.

Thanks, that's a beautiful reply.  I do find joy in them, just wish I saw them more frequently.

---

I never really did get used to being called grandaddy, that's what my grandkids call me, grandaddy.  But I've had 5 for the longest time now, the oldest is 14.  Well, today I have 6 grandkids!  My daughter just had a little girl this morning!  Just what she was hoping for btw.

That is just beautiful!

Congratulations!

I have always liked kids due to their purity, honesty, cuteness and them not yet being programmed. And i think that they are the most valuable thing humankind has. Because without kids, humankind would literally have no future, at all. That is why we need to teach stuff to children and protect them, and have fun too.

Sometimes i wonder how would it be like, to be a dad. I am not even gonna ask you. I think it is like i am asking a person to describe "Yellow" to me if i am colorblind. Sometimes some people have asked me how some particular drug feels like. How am i supposed to explain a feeling with words? Impossible.

Some say that they are blessed, because they have kids. And it really seems to be the case. Well, i can say that i am blessed because i do not have kids. Yes, i like them, but i am absolutely irresponsible and reckless. And i think that it is better that i do not spread my genes around. That might sound like eugenics, and maybe that is exactly what it is. But i do not view eugenics as wrong if i practice it upon myself.

Welcome to the world, new little girl. I apologize that us adults have left a huge mess for you to deal with eventually, but i have faith in future generations, and their bravery, wisdom and compassion.

Thanks Fin, I agree with your post.  I also think that there's nothing wrong with that kind of eugenics.  I might have practiced it myself except I didn't plan my earlier children... .  I also worry about the world we have given these little ones to have to deal with.  Strength to them, all we can do is try to teach them important values.

You grandparents are so lucky!!

I've had to accept I will never be a grandpa. My daughter's a diabetic and afraid she'll pass it on. My son's smart enough to know he won't survive marriage and likes having the whole paycheck he earns.

Great read this thread. Thanks NSB4D!!

Love can drive a man crazy. Love is like a socially accepted form of insanity. You might be a grandpa one day. And in any case, you will have your daughter and your son, and that is a huge deal. Biggest one of all, actually.

But things like "Surviving marriage" and "Having the whole paycheck" and all rational stuff like that might fly out the window if love happens.

And i agree, it is a great thread. Thanks @"NightskyeB4Dawn"#10

[Bally002]

I have no idea on the grandma calling, other than kids say & come up with the oddest things.

That they do. And yes bell bottoms pants, fishnet stockings and hullabaloo boots.

What the hell were we thinking?

Looks alright to me.  Pretty young ladies.  I have 6 Grandchildren.  Kind regards,  Bally

I have no idea on the grandma calling, other than kids say & come up with the oddest things.

That they do. And yes bell bottoms pants, fishnet stockings and hullabaloo boots.

What the hell were we thinking?

Looks alright to me.  Pretty young ladies.  I have 6 Grandchildren.  Kind regards,  Bally

6 Grandchildren? That is a lot, and that is awesome!

Yeah, the young Ladies in the pic look beautiful. Those trousers absolutely rock!!! I never see anything like that. Or very rarely. And i have been conditioned somehow. At first i was looking that the second on the left and the one furthest to the right are holding smart phones. But they probably are not...

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Looks like I am going to have to live with this for a while. 

I haven't seen the little one since Thanksgiving week. I was talking to the little one's Mother on the phone today. She heard my voice and started yelling, "Grandma!" "Grandma!"

Her mother, corrected her and told her, "No,  it is Auntie."

She said, "Yeah!" "Auntie Grandma!'

No one can figure out why, she insists on calling me grandma. But I think it is here to stay. At least for a while.