Weekly Humor

[727Sky]

 The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.                                                    

I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.
Just once I want a username and password prompt to say CLOSE ENOUGH.
If I am ever on life support unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
Do you ever wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate!”
I see people out there zip lining and mountain climbing and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the Apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.
You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
Some of my friends exercise every day, meanwhile I am watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything
What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.
 
And with that I bid you good day.