My well being depends upon you to engage 'it all'

[Freija]

That depends on if the environment is hostile. If you perceive the environment as hostile then conformity is survival. We can have a long debate on perception. We can also recognize that war and terrorism exists, organized crime is at next levels. It depends on where you live. Environment.

I don't disagree with this at all. After a childhood of troublesome rebellion and tumultuous non-conformance, outward conformity as a young adult in some respects has been the key to my survival from the time I was a teenager. Expression and acknowledgment of my non-conformity was reserved to the more accepting sub-cultures I was peripherally involved with in the time of my younger years to not feel so alone and something I still moderately pay attention to today from afar as on observer.

At some point conformity became closer to normalcy helped by my desire to be a positive and stable influence as a parent at 19 while never really abandoning my internalized invisible spirit as a renegade and societal outlaw. It wasn't really until about 2015 at 60 that I began to more or less reconnect with my roots in anonymous online spaces that I even spoke of my past thanks to meeting a kindred spirit that encouraged me to speak up even in less than friendly and accepting places. It was basically around that time I “came out” at ATS back when it was only half a shitshow. For me this was a bit of an awakening and reconciliation of who I am and what I have been through.

I’m pretty private when it comes to real life and don’t bring these things up (conformity) but I have shared my story with the folks here too but in this ever increasing age of political hostility and widespread negative oppressive legislative action, I have recently become much less forthcoming hoping to fly under the radar for the rest of my life, a feat that is looking less likely as time goes on and large datasets interconnect. However, should the witch hunt come to my door, I won’t hesitate to stand up publicly and use my voice even if it appears pointless against a hopeless situation.

Sometimes the baggage your carry sucks, sometimes it is your strength.