Sorry guys! I just thought y'all would get a kick outta' this. It was a 'Yuge' news story locally. Big tall block letters on the headline page, in every local rag you picked up. There's only about (3) of them out here, and one of them is actually the parent to the other (one gets sent to everyone for free, and the other one (by the same publisher) requires a subscription. That one is kind of frustrating because they'll say see the rest of the story (on "page xy", like you see in any newspaper...except your paper doesn't have that page, only the subscription service one does! LOL! Po'dunk small town stuff, but I wouldn't live anywhere else (but a tiny town far from civilization...just hopefully not Colorado much longer (damn Communist State!!) 
?? (I put (4) emojis here, let's see how many actually show up!)
ETA - Only (2) showed up! (Another user-unfriendly special consideration.)
?? (I put (4) emojis here, let's see how many actually show up!)ETA - Only (2) showed up! (Another user-unfriendly special consideration.)