My personal opinion is that if one has to wonder on an internet forum whether or not he or she is the asshole, then they are doing assholeship all wrong! If there is a doubt in anyone's mind, including their own, then they just need to go back to Asshole School for a refresher course!
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“Trouble rather the tiger in his lair than the sage among his books. For to you kingdoms and their armies are things mighty and enduring, but to him they are but toys of the moment, to be overturned with the flick of a finger.”
― Gordon R. Dickson, Tactics of Mistake
― Gordon R. Dickson, Tactics of Mistake