"It's the Daily Motivational Show with host Lorenzo Quinn-Chen!"
"Hello all, this is your host, Lorenzo Quinn-Chen, back in the studio, and we have a caller on the line. Caller, you're on the air!"
"I have a motivational question! What do I do when people don't appreciate me for ME instead of my naturally good-looking green looks and my big ears? Is that all I am to them, a green sex object? Like, my eyes are up here, Mr!!! Any advice?"
"Superficially good looks can be a blessing or a curse, but either way, you can profit by this. An intelligent and good-looking "fellow" like yourself can only prosper by taking advantage of that green complexion and lusty bod."
"Now, all that stands in your way is that negative attitude about sexual objectification. Many famous actors and celebrities have made fortunes on their "good looks". I believe you would be well on your way to fame and fortune with the attitude adjustment program at MK Acres, a mind adjustment facility located in sunny Nigeria, Africa."
"If you stay on the line, our counselors can get your information, and we will send you an informational packet on MK Acres. It is an expensive program, but they work with all insurance policies or a sliding pay scale with payments made in any currency or barter goods, including livestock."
"Now back to our regularly scheduled program, The Daily Motivational Show, with Lorenzo Quinn-Chen"
"Hello everyone, it's Lorenzo, I'm back from my motivational seminar and answering questions for Morley Banford, my guest host while yours truly was out of town."
"Caller, your motivational methods and tools are certainly tried and true. You're just the kind of motivational counselor we have here at The Daily Motivational Show. In fact, if you stay on the line, we can get you on a fast track to becoming a motivational trainer at our retreats. An HR representative will be with you shortly to explain the benefits of a job as a motivational trainer."
"Now on to our next caller . . ."
"Sorry, we lost your call. Your call is important to us, so please try again. Now our next caller . . ."
"Well caller, an unusual request and we will redirect your call in a moment. In the mean time, I'd like to suggest that yon fair maiden would be impressed if you share a bottle of fortified wine such as "Night Train", "Wild Irish Rose" or "Thunderbird" all classic favorites on the street. It also helps if you too have been drinking, so finish about half of the bottle before you offer her a drink."
"Hello all, this is your host, Lorenzo Quinn-Chen, back in the studio, and we have a caller on the line. Caller, you're on the air!"
"I have a motivational question! What do I do when people don't appreciate me for ME instead of my naturally good-looking green looks and my big ears? Is that all I am to them, a green sex object? Like, my eyes are up here, Mr!!! Any advice?"
"Superficially good looks can be a blessing or a curse, but either way, you can profit by this. An intelligent and good-looking "fellow" like yourself can only prosper by taking advantage of that green complexion and lusty bod."
"Now, all that stands in your way is that negative attitude about sexual objectification. Many famous actors and celebrities have made fortunes on their "good looks". I believe you would be well on your way to fame and fortune with the attitude adjustment program at MK Acres, a mind adjustment facility located in sunny Nigeria, Africa."
"If you stay on the line, our counselors can get your information, and we will send you an informational packet on MK Acres. It is an expensive program, but they work with all insurance policies or a sliding pay scale with payments made in any currency or barter goods, including livestock."
"Now back to our regularly scheduled program, The Daily Motivational Show, with Lorenzo Quinn-Chen"
"Hello everyone, it's Lorenzo, I'm back from my motivational seminar and answering questions for Morley Banford, my guest host while yours truly was out of town."
Quote:Hi, Morley. Ninurta from the back woods here - just beyond the last mountain.
I used to be a DJ, and all I did was sit on my ass and talk. That ain't no kinda job for a grown man!
Now here YOU are, just sttin' on yer ass and talkin'. Mebbe you need the motivation worse than me, so here it is: get offa yer ass and get a job, young man! What the hell are you waiting for? Ain't nobody gonna stroll into that studio and jus' give you a job - you gotta get off yer ass and go get one!
So get going, afore I have to bring my 'lectric cattle prod over there and give you some serious "motivation"!
That's my motivational speech for the day, so I've got to get back to work now...
,,, at a REAL job, young man!
CLICK.
"Caller, your motivational methods and tools are certainly tried and true. You're just the kind of motivational counselor we have here at The Daily Motivational Show. In fact, if you stay on the line, we can get you on a fast track to becoming a motivational trainer at our retreats. An HR representative will be with you shortly to explain the benefits of a job as a motivational trainer."
"Now on to our next caller . . ."
Quote:Burring Burring. "Collect call from Bally down under."
"G'day Morley, just quickly cause the American dollar is outside my ability to sustain an international call. But,,,in response to yer previous caller, CRIKEY get....beep beeep beep."
"Sorry, we lost your call. Your call is important to us, so please try again. Now our next caller . . ."
Quote:(Sporting one of those wide-rimmed summer hats often found on the heads of old middle-class ladies who like
to potter around in their gardens, this caller seeks to disguise himself due to his previous night's frequency of
ringing up the Daily Motivational Show.
His elderly mother -who the headwear actually belongs to, watches her son waiting on the telephone and
wonders if hiring one of those female escorts from Main Street may subdue her son's strange lonesome
behaviour and set him back on a path conducive with general society)
"Hi there, I'm just ringing in from my usually busy schedule to ask for advice when confronted with an abrupt lady who lives just across the rail-tracks when I pop into town for some fresh flowers? She's a brusque dame
and I'm sure she struggled during her educational years to enhance her intellectuality, but still, she's quite pleasant on the eye...
(At this point, the caller's mother secretly smiles to herself and wanders off to make some scones.)
"...Anyway, I was wondering if your advisor, Jane -who I hope doesn't read too much into my concern, would offer some sage guidance on what to do when I encounter the usually semi-inebriated maiden when I go to
the market this morning?
Oh, and thank you for this marvellous Show, by the way."
"Well caller, an unusual request and we will redirect your call in a moment. In the mean time, I'd like to suggest that yon fair maiden would be impressed if you share a bottle of fortified wine such as "Night Train", "Wild Irish Rose" or "Thunderbird" all classic favorites on the street. It also helps if you too have been drinking, so finish about half of the bottle before you offer her a drink."
A trail goes two ways and looks different in each direction - There is no such thing as a timid woodland creature - Whatever does not kill you leaves you a survivor - Jesus is NOT a bad word - MSB