When I was 5 years old, my mother faced an illness with an if she was lucky, a 10-more-years-to-live prognosis so from a very young age I was groomed to be independent and self-sufficient. I was a latchkey kid from the 2nd grade on and faced with what psychologists call ”parentification” but in a more gentle and positive light that taught me about responsibility among other things. (like cooking and cleaning – LOL !)
Considering my own special needs as a child and the problems encountered as a result, on top of all this or combined with the rejection and isolation involved with my own crap, situations required me to grow up fast and exhibit a maturity beyond my years while never letting myself feel victimized or shorted by what would appear to many to be the loss of my childhood. It also helped me identify happiness even when surrounded by darkness and hard times which has been one of the keys to my survival. Even through the whole trans thing, that I saw as an unfortunate mistake, didn’t give me the “poor me’s” but it sure did piss me off and added more of a fighter aspect to my personality than that of a victim..
On one hand, all this toughened me up for the real world and experiences and lessons learned guided me through some pretty rough times with grit and determination I couldn’t have mustered otherwise but in others, it broke me in a way influencing several of my adult behaviors or patterns I’ve often wished were different but I’m not complaining and I certainly don’t and never have considered myself anyone’s bitch or a victim. Screw that!
What I see as the somewhat negative aspects from all this is at times I am too independent, too hard-headed and too comfortable living in isolation and solitude and I totally suck at maintaining friendships. I accept these attributes and at weeks from being 69 years old, don’t feel any desire to work on changing them.
With my own almost 50 year old daughter, perhaps not so much through challenges but by simple observation and emulation, she grew up to be a tough and self-determined, self-sufficient don’t take shit from anybody or life sort of person and I like to think I had some influence over her attitudes and personality but I think a lot of kids of boomer parents with trickle downs from even the generation before are for the most part, nothing like the Millennials or Gen-XYZ and I am also going to credit some of this from being from a pre-internet generation where victim and oppression points gain cred.
I also kind of think many with this victimized personality type have never really faced true hardship or challenges to shape their perspectives or were never taught or shown how to rise above?
Considering my own special needs as a child and the problems encountered as a result, on top of all this or combined with the rejection and isolation involved with my own crap, situations required me to grow up fast and exhibit a maturity beyond my years while never letting myself feel victimized or shorted by what would appear to many to be the loss of my childhood. It also helped me identify happiness even when surrounded by darkness and hard times which has been one of the keys to my survival. Even through the whole trans thing, that I saw as an unfortunate mistake, didn’t give me the “poor me’s” but it sure did piss me off and added more of a fighter aspect to my personality than that of a victim..
On one hand, all this toughened me up for the real world and experiences and lessons learned guided me through some pretty rough times with grit and determination I couldn’t have mustered otherwise but in others, it broke me in a way influencing several of my adult behaviors or patterns I’ve often wished were different but I’m not complaining and I certainly don’t and never have considered myself anyone’s bitch or a victim. Screw that!
What I see as the somewhat negative aspects from all this is at times I am too independent, too hard-headed and too comfortable living in isolation and solitude and I totally suck at maintaining friendships. I accept these attributes and at weeks from being 69 years old, don’t feel any desire to work on changing them.
With my own almost 50 year old daughter, perhaps not so much through challenges but by simple observation and emulation, she grew up to be a tough and self-determined, self-sufficient don’t take shit from anybody or life sort of person and I like to think I had some influence over her attitudes and personality but I think a lot of kids of boomer parents with trickle downs from even the generation before are for the most part, nothing like the Millennials or Gen-XYZ and I am also going to credit some of this from being from a pre-internet generation where victim and oppression points gain cred.
I also kind of think many with this victimized personality type have never really faced true hardship or challenges to shape their perspectives or were never taught or shown how to rise above?
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.