(11-29-2023, 09:29 AM)Ninurta Wrote: You know, it kind of IS their parents' faults. Not for the reasons they blame their parents for, but because those parents were too lazy to parent them to begin with, too lazy to prepare them for life in the real world.
So their "victim mentality" CAN be set down at the feet of their parents - parents who took the time to have rug-rats, but then left them to their own devices in dealing with reality, rather than guiding and teaching them how it really is.
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As usual, your observation is spot-on.
I had a choice to face when my school daze ended: Join the Army and see the world ... or go to work. Going to work meant a life of drudgery in a bio-med lab or working the farm. Kind of a no-brainer ... even if I did go about it stoopidly.
Kids don't really face that choice these days. Parents aren't telling them, "The day you're 18 you're on your own, Kid!!" I heard those words my whole life. I knew what was coming and pretty much when.
Both of my kids effed-up their initial college chances. My son was creative about it and at least walked away with no debt. He enjoys his blue collar life (and there's nothing wrong with that). My daughter 'vacationed' in the dorms and is paying the price. Where most people started (back in our day) at 18, she's starting (in debt) at age 33. It sucks, but that's the way things in America are geared now. I hope she likes being the proverbial round peg in a round hole.
To the point of the thread: both of them understand the choices they've made along the paths of their lives have lead to outcomes ... same as everyone else. They don't complain.
OTOH
I've got a sister-in-law who was spoiled her whole live. She's in her mid-50s now. Her looks are gone. She's a lush. And now ... she's a perpetual victim who does her best to bring everyone down to her level of misery. She utterly ruined my wife's vacation with family. She jeopardized her niece's wedding (which was quite the International affair). She's been at this type of behavior for so long she's got it all down to a T.
A couple of years ago, she had an affair with another woman's husband. She expressed her pleasure in giving grief to the wife when she refused to dump her cheating spouse. What me and my wife both noted was that she saw no wrong in her role as a home wrecker. If there wasn't a law against it, I'd grab her by the shirt and beat her frikkin' teeth down her throat. I'm sorry, but that's about the only way these people are going to 'not do' what they've gotten real good at.
Maybe I should draw a hot bath too.
