Bath time epiphany

[quintessentone]

Some might say they are narcissists, sociopaths, bi-polar, borderline personality, etc. but when push comes to shove their identity at its core is that of the perpetual victim. I see it plain as day.

Well I know some that are bi-polar and from the life's experiences they have had and told me about, I'd say they were actually victims of others taking advantage of them and have developed coping mechanisms on their own, without any professional help to understand the abuse and those that abused them. 

So, the custom-made coping mechanisms, in themselves, for me are the problem. As one woman who was abused in different ways by every man that came into her life, she is now overbearing and everything in life has to go her way, no matter how absurd, or there will be hell to pay. 

I can understand this behaviour from her because all her power and self-esteem was taken away most of her life by others. While I can understand this need for her to manipulate others and for them to comply with her demands/needs? her blatant disregard and lack of respect for others' wants and needs seems to me that she is actually doing to others what was done to her. 

I suppose what I am trying to say is that if we bother to figure out their toxic coping mechanisms for their past traumas and try to understand why and how they got to where they are, then maybe that helps us to move forward knowing that for many people nothing can be done to change who thought they had to become to survive. Maybe they are in a perpetual toxic survival mode.

"To close your eyes will not ease another's pain. Chinese Proverb