”EndtheMadnessNow” Wrote:Mucho appreciate you sharing your story & thoughts. I honestly had no idea, still a bit speechless and I can't even imagine all that trauma you had to endure through school. Holy shit! Still much I do not know nor understand. I'll get there eventually.
Haha! I even left out one of the best parts, the one where I was assaulted by a group of homophobic boys my sophomore year in high school sending me to the hospital with multiple broken ribs, bruised organs, contusions all over and 50+ stitches from head to toe. Today we would think of this as a hate crime. The police were involved and it was quite a mess. I was out of school a month recovering and was still in pain when I went back. Broken ribs hurt forever!
I also didn’t mention I was in 14 different schools in 3 different states and put my parents through hell to make it through the 6th grade because my presence was too distracting, my hair was too long or the bullying became dangerous and intolerable. Then in the 7th grade (junior high) at a new school in a new state my folks brought threats of a lawsuit against the school board because they wouldn’t let me in unless I cut my hair that had been growing since the 3rd grade. I was a week late getting started (sans boy haircut) then a few days later, was suspended for fighting a teacher that was trying to force me into the boy’s locker room. I was bad news. I also got permanently excused from P.E. class so I never have been inside a boy’s locker room!
But, that’s all water under the bridge and things that happened over 50 years ago that only strengthened my resolve. Keep in mind, things aren’t like they are today. I had no idea at all there were other kids like me, no words to explain or describe it and I thought I was the only person in the world to be dealing with such a vexing situation and it was pretty isolating. Add to the fact that after my assault, I wasn’t allowed to leave the house ever without being escorted by one of my parents except to go to school where they could drop me off and pick me up because they feared someone would try to kill me again so needless to say, I did not have a normal childhood or teenage years until I got out of HS and left home which I think reflects in a lot of my adult behavior or it’s at least comforting way to attribute some of my less than desirable qualities to? LOL!
My point here is twofold, if kids and teachers and schools had known and understood back then that some kids, even little kids can be different (trans), things might have been less messed up and secondly, information and knowledge being available today like it wasn’t back then would have been a godsend to me because I had no idea why I was the way I was. I only knew that deep within the very depths of my heart and spirit I was a girl with no confusion or question other than why I was born with boy parts?
That was a real mind-bender for me as a kid that I just assumed it all to be some grand cosmic mistake, a cruel joke of nature and a biological error. In spite of my parent’s heroic efforts to help me not feel that way, I often felt broken and defective and that something was seriously wrong with me. I sometimes wonder how I ended up not nearly as screwed up as I could have been or how I was able to go on to live a wonderful, rewarding and pretty amazing life? That stubborn, determined and outspoken about what I knew to be true little kid turned out to be pretty strong after all, I guess?
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.