Ask Amy: Bridezilla didn’t want uncle to attend wedding, but still wanted a gift

[Infolurker]

This is just one of those family drama stories that make your head spin..... Are You Serious???


https://www.mlive.com/news/2023/06/ask-a...-dave.html

[b]Dear Amy: [/b]Four months before my daughter’s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, “Dave”) would make her feel unsafe if he was a guest. She asked me not to invite him.

My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor.

Dave has always been very nice, so my daughter’s request surprised me.

I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited.

Dave did not respond and did not attend.

Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.

I have not heard from Dave since then. When my siblings found out what I had done they were angry with me.

That is just one problem.

Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift.

In the past, Dave has given family members wedding checks in excess of $1,000.

She says she was counting on receiving the same type of gift.

My husband says I should drop it – but I can’t. Dave’s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me.

How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?

Please don’t tell me that I’m the one who started this by not inviting my brother to the wedding. After all, he’s a grown man, while my daughter is young and just starting out.

– Angry in Philadelphia

[b]Dear Angry:[/b] Let’s recap: Your delicate daughter is too frightened to be near a conservative voter to allow her uncle “Dave” to attend her wedding.

She then asks you to do her dirty work for her, and (of course) you do!

Fine – so far, we have only a bride’s prerogative to create her own guest list, and her mother’s choice to protect her from any consequences, which is your prerogative.

You then rub the excluded guest’s nose in this wedding by sending him photos of the event to which he has pointedly not been invited.

But it’s your second “problem” which I believe will enter the Bridezilla Hall of Infamy.

In short: Brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a family wedding don’t then get the pleasure of receiving their money.

You seem almost as afraid of your daughter as she is of your brother, but I hope you’ll find a way to courageously tell her that the Bank of Uncle Dave is closed, at least to your branch of the family.

So far, your silent brother is the only family member who is behaving appropriately. He’s steering clear, which is exactly what you have asked him to do.

[xuenchen]

Stories of Democrat Loonzillas 

[Ninurta]

People never fail to amaze. They don't want YOU around, but they always want your money to be present! The amazing part is they never seem to realize how batshit crazy that sounds.

My second wife was such a one. When we separated, I was paying most of her bills, and mine, too. To do that, I was working as much overtime as I could ( I put in over a 120 hours one week - that was grueling!), and then living off ramen noodles and frozen burritos at home. I was ok with that, because I wanted to make sure the kids were taken care of whether I was there or not.

But evidently it wasn't enough. She took me to court to increase child support payments. I reckon she felt like she didn't have enough spare money or something.

So the judge took into account my salary and how much I had previously been giving her, and shook his head. He awarded her child support, but in a much, MUCH lower amount than I had already been giving her.

When we walked out of the court room, she caught up to me and had the nerve to say "but you can still give me what you have been giving me, right?"

Nope. I told her she had taken me to court, the court had spoken, and she got what she got, as court-ordered. I added that this would allow me to make sure the kids were VERY well taken care of while they were at my house, and while they were at hers, well, she could just figure that shit out and make what she was getting work just like I had been doing to be able to give her all that money. And I laughed... and laughed... and laughed as I walked away.

The greed of some folks will boggle the mind, and the fact they think it is somehow "owed" to them is even more mind boggling.

.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

Actions- meet consequences!

Two summers ago we brought our granddaughter home to our oldest daughter in Texas after having brought her to stay with us in KY for a month. She (daughter) got pissed off because I refused to call her fully bearded, hairy legged roommate "she". I was called a racist, misogynist, xenophobic something or another and a few other things. Okay, fine. I went back to the motel and told hubs we were leaving a day earlier than planned and we headed out on our great summer road trip. 

Cut to a month later. We'd just gotten home from our trip and hadn't even unpacked yet and she starts messaging me needing a loan. Sorry, can't help you was my response- and was my response every single time after until she blocked me from all social media and blocked my phone number (phone is unblocked now but we only speak 2-3 times per year since then).  If I'm all of those things she called me she doesn't need my misogynist money! 

Also when I told my mother what happened she decided that she doesn't need her misogynist money either, as did everyone else in the family. Consequences baby!