The Snow Flake and the pea.

[Rodinus]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls and all those other people that wish to have letters or stuff instead…

This is a story of which is very personal to me… And profoundly upsetting.

…………………………………………………………………..

This part below is stolen from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Princess_and_the_Pea

The story tells of a prince who wants to marry a princess but is having difficulty finding a suitable wife.

Something is always wrong with those he meets and he cannot be certain they are real princesses because they have bad table manners or they are not his type.

 

One stormy night, a young woman drenched with rain seeks shelter in the prince's castle.

 

She claims to be a princess, but no one believes her because of the way she looks.

 

The prince's mother decides to test their unexpected guest by placing a pea in the bed she is offered for the night, covered by twenty mattresses and twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.

 

In the morning, the princess tells her hosts that she endured a sleepless night, kept awake by something hard in the bed that she is certain has bruised her.

With the proof of her bruised back, the princess passes the test and the prince rejoices happily, for only a real princess would have the sensitivity to feel a pea through such a quantity of bedding.

The two are happily married, and the story ends with the pea being placed in a museum, where, according to the story, it can still be seen today unless someone has stolen it.

NOW MY STORY :

This thread is actually targeted mostly towards the Gentlemen of our community… Sorry to those who are offended.

Here I go :

I have always been one of those romantic guys… Hugs… Tender words whispered in her ears… Brushing that stray lock of hair to one side with a tender and slight movement….

On the other side…

My tongue slurping with loads of slippery dribble the back of her neck with all the snot n stuff whilst whispering those BDSM things that she absolutely loves and is begging for but will not confess…

OH BUGGER…. I went off the rails there !

OK… Back to the Topic in question :

 

Ladies and Gentlemen I have a question :

 

Even when the sheets are cleaned on a weekly basis and I shower every night before snore time :

WHY DO US GUYS ALWAYS HAVE TO LIE OR SLEEP ON THAT SHIITY LITTLE GRAIN OF BREADCRUM OR WHATEVER THE HECK IT IS ?

It bloody annoys me everytime I try to go to bed and try to get comfortable for a good nights kip only to feel that niggly little grain digging into my back or buttocks…

My second question is the following : WHY DO YOU LADIES NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM ?

I know Mrs R does not have this issue as she wears a spacesuit literally when joining me in our boudoir…

Socks, Tshirt, jogging bottoms… The whole bloody palava… (Except BDSM night of course)… Shit, fantasizing out aloud again…

Am I becoming a Snowflake or are other normal folks in this same predicament ?

 

If so and you are one of those victims, what can we do to rid this world of the dreaded « ITTY GRITTY » bit… ?

Hummph….


HELLLLPPPP.....

[BIAD]

A predicament -know doubt and I'm sure many would just reply with "don't eat food in bed"!
My better-half and I do enjoy breakfast in bed and often, I discover a crumb or two that has somehow
missed my big mouth, a feat that she-who-must-be-obeyed still believes is impossible.

But I put your question to her and she answered that occasionally, a fragment of nourishment does arrive
in an uncomfortable position and she merely moves it out of the way. Recalling her mother's reminder
that there are starving children in Africa, I believe she places it on beside cabinet and possibly mails it to a
suitable charity.
But I can't be certain.

However, now that the UK is regularly taking in illegal migrants that cross the Channel, I guess her postage
costs will decrease. So... even though your bed-linen and your backside may have to endure this horrible
first-world affliction, there is a silver-lining for others. Collect these pesky crumbs and donate them to those
below the Equator, they'll thank you for it and I'm sure the media will sing your praises!

After the break... Grandparents, friend or foe?

[Rodinus]

Although we do not have breakfast in bed, I will chuck whatever crumbs have been wiped off the dinner table into the Channel...

The poor fish need to eat too...

[BIAD]

Although we do not have breakfast in bed, I will chuck whatever crumbs have been wiped off the dinner table into the Channel...

The poor fish need to eat too...

I agree.

[Ninurta]

Here in the Hills, it's a phenomena known as "Maggie's Revenge", and we have developed a working hypothesis that it is a woman's revenge for having to sleep on the "wet spots" all through the centuries.

Some have gone so far as to develop a theory that women are salting the man's side of the bed with Panko bread crumbs out of the kitchen cabinet in the absence of any breakfast in bed...


.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

I am a sleep eater. In the night I eat all kinds of stuff without any memory of even having gotten out of bed to get a snack. The crumbs (and sometimes food stains) are the only clues of my nocturnal activities. They don't seem to bother Kdog but they bug the crap out of me so in between changing sheets I am constantly sweeping crumbs away.

Funny story (but not) once I actually woke myself up drinking my ex's cologne from the medicine cabinet, what a nasty taste!