Rudolph's got the runs... [CS22]

[Sol]

What could go wrong on a beautiful Christmas day?

For one, Rudolph's got the runs. 

How am I supposed to deliver billions of packages overnight, when my lead reindeer leaves a 'trace' wherever he goes?!?

A very, very visible trace.

Seriously?

But it doesn't stop there. Nope. No, no, no, no, no.

Mrs Claus is in her 'time of the month' as well...fantastic timing. And I'm supposed to be joyful and laughingly yell "Ho Ho Ho"  all through the night?!?

HA! Sure !!

The elves went on strike, they can't handle that kind of heat when both those calamities happen to fall on the same day..and night.

I'm still missing millions of toys, for kids AND for adults. Not good. Not good at all.

What could go wrong on a beautiful Christmas day?

I've gained weight. Again. I thought chimneys were getting tighter. And smaller. It's not the chimneys. Not. One. Damn. Bit.

Fell flat on my face, nose bleeding now. Wish my suit was all red but noooooooooooooooooo, some cretin wanted some white fluffy fur in there. That tailor is now on my bad list. The badder baddest list. The 'there's no coming back from that one' list..

What could go wrong on a beautiful Christmas day?

I've become lactose intolerant. Millions and millions of glasses of milk coming my way. Ironic, isn't it?

What could go wrong on a beautiful Christmas day?

I can't handle the cold like I used to. My nuts want to crawl back inside as soon as I walk out the door. Not funny. 

What could go wrong on a beautiful Christmas day?

I feel old. Used and abused. I need coke. No, no. As in Coca Cola. There's a story behind that. But they took me out of the ads and now have cute little white polar bears drinking it. When is enough, enough?

Saint Nick, Saint Nicholas, Father Klaus, Santa Clause, whatever. I had it.

What could go right on a beautiful Christmas day?

Screw this!

I"M GOING ROGUE !!!!





MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!

S.

[DuckforcoveR]