Quote:I'm so confused!



Some thoughts on the 2024 US election:

• We must destroy the planet in order to save it, and furthermore the fundamental element of all life and the molecule most needed for plant growth are evil and toxic, and must be eliminated.
  
• Democracy means you have no say in your indentured servitude, and the minority that screams the loudest is the winner.
  
• Freedom means goose-stepping in compliant submission, or be imprisonment without due process for not having permission to be free.
  
• You may speak your mind only insofar as your opinions conform to arbitrary standards, regardless of how absurd or injurious those standards may be.
  
• You must hate haters with more venomous hate than the hate not directed at you.
  
• Good health means obesity, toxic jabs, and surgical self-mutilation under the ministrations of a malignant health care system that allows no alternatives in the name of Science (amen).
  
• You are racist if you are not obsessively hyper-focused on race, and race imparts great wisdom and skill unless your race is out of favor today.
  
• You are a misogynist if you do not wholly and completely submit to the Matriarchy, and misandry is perfectly normal and desirable.
  
• War is peace; truth is a lie; black is the new white.
  

Lesson #1: if you consent to being governed and participate in the system, then you implicitly accept the result.

Lesson #2: if you suddenly find yourself in the minority and no one is persecuting you, thank your stars you live in a republic and not a democracy.

Lesson #3: if you feel an overwhelming need to conform with ideological sympathizers, march in torchlight parades, chant jingoistic slogans fed to you by the effete corporate media, and silence anyone who hurts your feelings, you are the fascist.

Lesson #4: if your immediate response to stress and disappointment is to record yourself throwing a childish tantrum and then sharing it with strangers for empty praise and meaningless clicks, then you are emotionally stunted and require immediate professional intervention.

Lesson #5: withholding sex to force men to comply was the plot of Lysistrata, a Greek comedy written 2,500 years ago by an old white guy named Aristophanes. Also, if you’re not having sex, then you obviously have no need for contraception or abortion, so drop it. Also, bracelets (blue or otherwise) are symbols o slavery.

Lesson #6: if you are leaving the US to protest the election, you will need to comply with immigration laws or be deported, and most countries are not tolerant of radical feminists and open homosexuality, and your opinion of such is banned.

We sincerely hope you have learned from this experience.


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Today’s cultural nail on the head is Charlie Chaplin’s 1940 masterpiece The Great Dictator. Beside the famous ‘dancing with the world’ scene, our favorite bit is the parachute hat.