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My balls are greasy... - Printable Version

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My balls are greasy... - Rodinus - 12-14-2022

Yup folks... You read right... My balls are greasy!

A natural winter is finally upon us over here in France with a weeks advance and boy oh boy am I a happy chappy.

Chopping logs on a frosty morning or afternoon... collapsing after a great hard days work in front of a roaring wood stove with chestnuts and spuds wrapped in tin foil ready to be scoffed down whilst chugging down a decent bottle of Cabernet... (Yea yea I know I said in the past that had I had quit alcool, but wine does not come under the alcool description as far as I am concerned if it is a decent Château St Georges St Emelion or a bottle of Côt (Malbec) from my in-laws vinyard.

Anyways : Whilst blistering my palms to fuck and whatever, I have noticed that the Robins and other various types of birds that do not migrate during winter time have been watching me on the different fence posts around the garden with pleading hungry eyes....

I must insist on the fact that they are all big fat bastards and are surely getting their ressources elsewhere. ( won't get into American politics with that one!)

Being the soft bugger I am, I feed the greedy little buggers in order that all is well for them and their siblings.

Please find below the recipie that I use for grease balls to feed our feathery little fuckers that I pinched from Gardeners world (Copy paste with a coupe of adjustments à la Rodinus with link) :

Birds love energy-rich fat balls, which give them all the calories they need to get through cold winter days and nights.

You can buy them in the shops but they’re easy to make at home if you don't mind greasy fingers.

Simply mix kitchen scraps such as cheese, cake crumbs and dry porridge oats with melted lard or suet, and set in the fridge overnight.

Which birds benefit from fat balls?

Fat balls are popular with blue tits, great tits and long-tailed tits... I LOVE TITS, house sparrows, blackbirds, robins, woodpeckers, nuthatches and blackcaps.

Alternative ingredients

Add rehydrated raisins, currants and sultanas, small pieces of apple or pear, or grated cheese. Crushed peanuts and mealworms can also be added.

Foods to avoid

Avoid using turkey fat, which doesn’t set like suet and lard, and can coat birds’ feathers, preventing them from being able to fly... (BUT EASIER TO SHOOT)


It can also spread disease.

You should also refrain from using raisins and sultanas if you have a dog, as they are poisonous to them and also give your dog, cats and the bird the shits.

Bear in mind that mealworms are harmful to hedgehogs and so is a 12 gauge shotgun, so only add these if you’re hanging fat balls in winter, when hedgehogs are hibernating.

Otherwise the 12 bore can be extremely useful if said hedgehog is plodding around the garden waking up your dogs in the middle of the night who are barking their heads of incessantly and stopping you from getting a fucking good nights sleep after chopping up logs on a frosty fucking morning or afternoon with your hands completely ripped apart because you did not wear a pair of protective gloves you fucking knob head!.

Here is the video : https://www.gardenersworld.com/how-to/diy/how-to-make-fat-cakes-for-birds/

Enjoy making and fondling your greasy balls with yogourt pots.

Kindest respects

Rodinus


RE: My balls are greasy... - VioletDove - 12-14-2022

I have to admit I was scared to click on this, but curiosity got the better of me  Laughing

What a nice thing to do for the birds and a good reminder, for me, to put some food out for the ones I have here. It’s about to get really cold here, for several days in a row, so they’ll be looking for something to eat.


RE: My balls are greasy... - Ninurta - 12-15-2022

I agree, wine does not qualify as alcohol - it's rotted grape juice, nothing more. An undrinkable beverage, unfit for human consumption.

I've made those using tallow as well, but then tallow is just "lard", but from a beef instead of a hog. Rendered fat that solidifies, and that's about it.

They amount to just pemmican, but for birds instead of people.

I've also just outright bought plain old bird seed and binded it up into balls or blocks (you can heat it up to soften it and pack it into pans to cool to make the blocks) with tallow or lard. Never thought of putting cheese in it - wouldn't want to bind the birds up, y'know!

I'm going to consider your recipe as French cuisine for American birds. Might try it just to see if they know what to do with it!

.


RE: My balls are greasy... - Snarl - 12-24-2022

(12-14-2022, 03:41 PM)VioletDove Wrote: I have to admit I was scared to click on this, but curiosity got the better of me  Laughing

What a nice thing to do for the birds and a good reminder, for me, to put some food out for the ones I have here. It’s about to get really cold here, for several days in a row, so they’ll be looking for something to eat.

Debauchery ... sounds French doesn't it?  Laughing

Suet ... also sounds French.