Quote: Butch the Rooster


Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.   She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. 
 
Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit

on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticedold Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!  When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making.
Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
 
 
COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS
 
 01.  The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless!
 
02.  Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.  
 
03.  When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says. 
 
04.  Just once, I want the prompt for username and password to say, “Close enough.”
 
05.  Becoming an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
 
06.  If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed. We’re having a meeting.
 
07.  Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags or is it just me.
 
08.  I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech support guy is asleep. He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime
 
 
09.  Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud.
 
10.  Tip for a successful marriage: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she’s mowing the lawn.
 
11.  So, you drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill?
 
12.  Old age is coming at a really bad time.
 
13.  If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
 
14.  Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
 
15.  Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
 
16.  I don't need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.
 
17.  My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
 
18.  "On time" is, when I get there.
 
19.  Even duct tape can't fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound.
 
20.  It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free...and three sizes smaller.
 
21.  "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house!