(07-25-2024, 05:50 PM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: Possibly the weirdest headline about a major-party candidate the AP has ever run:

Quote:This is no way to do your own colonoscopy.

Vietnamese doctors removed a live 2-foot-long eel from a man’s abdomen — that had chewed through his intestines after he shoved it up his anus.

The nauseating discovery was made when a 31-year-old Indian national was admitted to Viet Duc Hospital in Hanoi on July 27 with excruciating abdominal pain, according to Vietnam News.

Doctors learned that the adventurous patient had slipped the phallic fish up his backside earlier in the day — and it tried to escape.

“The eel had bitten through the patient’s rectum and colon to escape into the abdominal cavity,” said Le Nhat Huy, vice director of the Department of Colorectal and Perineal Surgery.

The patient was immediately examined and underwent several imaging tests, including an X-ray that showed the eel’s skeleton lying inside his abdominal cavity. 

Doctors attempted to remove the foreign object through the man’s anus — but they discovered a large lime that he had also inserted blocking the way.

Instead, doctors opted for an emergency surgery.

They sliced open the the patient’s torso and found the live eel, stretching more than 25 inches long and roughly 4 inches in diameter.

The creature and the lime were both removed.



After checking for any additional foreign objects hiding inside the man, they stitched him up. Surgeons also performed a colostomy to prevent fecal matter from passing through the cut made by the eel’s bite.

Doctors at the hospital told Vietnam News that they’ve dealt with patients, typically young men, who have put objects up their bums for sexual pleasure.

Viet Duc Hospital has previously removed bottles, cups and adult toys from patients’ anuses— but this is the first case involving a live animal.

“Eels can survive in anaerobic conditions for a long time and have the ability to bite through the gastrointestinal tract,” Huy warned.

“Therefore, people should never insert live animals through the anus to seek intense sensations due to the unforeseeable consequences.”

This, however, was not the first time an eel was removed from someone’s backside in Vietnam this year.

In March, a 12-inch eel slid up a 43-year-old man’s anus. He was rushed to the Hai Ha District Medical Center in Quang Ninh Province, where the sea creature was removed.

(08-03-2024, 04:15 AM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote: When the eel's in your butt and then chews through your gut, that's a moray. 

(08-03-2024, 04:15 AM)EndtheMadnessNow Wrote:


...

NY Post


When the eel's in your butt and then chews through your gut, that's a moray. 

Quote:The captain of an ultra-elite UK nuclear sub armed with doomsday weapons filmed a sex tape with an underling while at sea, officials say.

The officer was in charge of the $5 billion Vanguard-class submarine — which carries Trident Two nuclear arms — when he took the X-rated video of himself and the junior sailor, the Sun reported.

The unnamed captain, who once met Princess Anne, moved on to a desk job — but eventually doomed himself by allegedly sharing the X-rated selfies, which higher-ups caught wind of, the outlet reported.

Crewmates then corroborated the seamy at-sea shenanigans, it said.

The officer, one of the youngest to captain a nuclear-powered sub, was suspended and soon after sacked under the navy’s “zero tolerance policy” for inappropriate behavior.

The scandal comes as the UK’s navy suffers a shortage of submarine staff, according to the outlet.

The Royal Navy has four nuclear-armed submarine classes: Vanguard, Vengeance, Victorious and Vigilant — and always has a vessel at sea in case of a nuclear attack.

In a statement, the Royal Navy told the Sun, “All forms of unacceptable behavior are taken extremely seriously and anything which falls short of the highest standards will not be tolerated.

“Anyone who is found culpable will be held accountable for their actions, regardless of their rank or status,” it added.

Quote:Guy dressed in a bear costume faked attacks on cars in wild insurance scam

A group of four people were arrested and charged with insurance fraud after claiming  a bear
entered and damaged luxury cars. But the 'bear' was actually a person in a costume

'A person dressed as a bear faked attacks on cars to claim the insurance.


The 'Bear'.

Now four people have now been arrested and charged with insurance fraud after claiming
their cars were trashed by the "creature". When the claimants in Southern California provided
a video of the "animal" in action, insurers smelt something fishy, and it wasn't the bear's
breakfast.

They suspected that the bear wasn't a creature at all, it was a person in a costume doing all the
damage, according to officials on Wednesday (November 13). The insurers even summoned a
wildlife expert to confirm their suspicions.

A 2010 Rolls-Royce Ghost was allegedly ravaged on January 8 while it was parked at Lake
Arrowhead in the San Bernardino Mountains northeast of Los Angeles, the California
Department of Insurance said.

The group tried to pull the wool over the eyes of the insurance firm with video evidence
purportedly displaying the creature breaking into the luxury car. However, eagle-eyed
investigators spotted the faux-paw upon closer examination of the footage.

"Upon further scrutiny of the video, the investigation determined the bear was actually a
person in a bear costume," the department disclosed.

The brazen claimants also attempted to dupe for damages to two more high-end vehicles a
2015 Mercedes G63 AMG and a 2022 Mercedes E350 furnishing yet more videos featuring
the furry marauder, the Insurance Department revealed.

Ruben Tamrazian, 26; Ararat Chirkinian, 39; Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32, all hailing from Glendale,
and Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, of Valley Village were detained facing accusations of insurance fraud
and conspiracy, according to the department.


Scratches.

A spokesperson for the San Bernardino County District Attorney’s Office said that charges have
been submitted against the four people arrested and that the cases are under review for a
decision on charges. The scam cost insurance companies £112,036 ($141,839), the department
said.

Authorities discovered a bear costume, complete with brown fur, a bear-like head, paws and
metal hand tools designed to mimic claw marks, in the suspects' residence. Footage of the
supposed damage revealed minor groove marks on the vehicle's seats and interior, which
were purportedly meant to resemble bear claw marks...'

Quote:Two women have been jailed after uploading hundreds of images and videos of monkeys being tortured to online group chats.

Holly LeGresley, of Baldwin Road, Kidderminster and a second defendant, Adriana Orme, 55, of The Beeches, Ryall, near Upton-upon-Severn were both found to have encouraged and assisted others in torturing monkeys online.

Passing sentence, Judge James Burbidge KC said Dutch-born Orme and LeGresley, had joined online chat groups which encouraged torture of monkeys by offenders based in Indonesia.

he judge, who said he had been left “almost in disbelief” by the evidence in the case, told the defendants: “Quite what led you two women of good character and, I am satisfied, some intelligence, to engage in such a forum is beyond comprehension by any right-thinking member of society.”

The court had heard both women shared footage of the animals being tortured. It has been clarified that the women did not carry out monkey torture themselves.

LeGresley has been jailed for two years and Orme has been sentenced to 15 months.

Messages sent from Holly's pseudonym online indicated she was aware of the risk.

She had even created rules, demanding new members had to upload a 'rat torture video' to be accepted into the online group.

LeGresley admitted to uploading images of monkey torture between March 25 and May 8 2022, and made a £17.24 payment to a PayPal account to encourage cruelty on April 25 of the same year.

West Mercia Police charged LeGresley after being informed by the national wildlife crime unit, the court heard.

"The suffering the animals endured is sickening"

Detective Chief Inspector Ben Arrowsmith, who led the investigation for West Mercia Police, said: “This is without doubt one of the most disturbing cases that my team and I have ever worked on.

“The hatred and deviant fascination the defendants have shown in relation to the cruelty and abuse towards monkeys is incomprehensible.

"The suffering the animals endured is sickening and sadistic; it’s impossible to comprehend how anyone could find it enjoyable to watch and be part of.

“This is the first time in British legal history that charges relating to animal cruelty have been brought under the Serious Crime Act 2007 for cruelty that took place abroad, but where the offenders are in the UK, making this a landmark case.

“I’m pleased that Le Gresley and Orme will now face justice for their part in this abhorrent and vile cruelty.

Chief Inspector Kevin Lacks-Kelly, Head of the National Wildlife Crime Unit, added: “Today we have taken another step forward in a large scale and ongoing transnational investigation into the worst cruelty I have ever seen.

“LeGresley and Orme acted as more than mere participants in this complex web of unjustifiable torture. They hid behind a veil of secrecy on the internet, assuming that their participation in crimes overseas would not bring the police to their doors in the UK.

“Most investigations where a wild animal has been taken for human use revolve around money. However, this investigation has identified the group were not motivated by finances, instead they were motivated by inflicting as much suffering as possible to these defenceless animals.

“Let this serve as a reminder that wildlife crime exists today in many forms. The NWCU has the expertise, resources, and co-ordination skills to work with UK and international enforcers to bring cases like this to justice.”