Today is the birthday of someone I was close to from the first day of 1st grade until I was around 30-ish when we became people who just waved and said "Hello!" when we saw each other in passing. When I realized it is her birthday today my first instinct was to call and wish her a happy birthday until common sense flooded back into my brain with a reality check that screamed "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
There are many people who I have known most of my (about to be 57 years) life. Some I still have relationships with but with most I do not. This is intentional. Some of us grew as people over the years but the majority never did and are stuck in the same mentality they've had since their early years. Just like the "friend" in question most are still closed minded, liars, manipulators, cheaters, moochers, users and horrible gossips. Why would I be friends with people like that to start with? Well, when you grow up in a household full of the same you believe it is normal and in a small town pickings are slim.
Small town mentality is not a myth, it is very real. I never had that mentality myself and never really understood it (thanks to being raised for several years by my granny and due to much travel that showed me life doesn't have to be that way), I only knew that as I matured I had less and less tolerance for that sort of behavior and all of the drama that comes along for the ride. As the years passed I reached that point of "the straw that broke the camel's back" with the majority of people whom I had been friends with practically forever. Don't get it twisted though, I may be an extremely nice person most of the time but when I've reached that point of "Enough!" I will cut you out of my life and ignore you so hard you will begin to doubt your own existence!
I haven't been down home to visit in over two years. If it weren't for our middle daughter and grandson it wouldn't bother me to never visit again. When we have gone to visit in the past there has only been one friend that I've gone out of my way to visit and she passed earlier this year. We probably wont go back until one of my parents or step-dad passes, mainly to be there for my daughter.
So my circle is shrinking smaller and smaller and in my opinion that's not a bad thing. I can love people from a distance without allowing their drama to disturb my peace. As I barrel down the road toward what I hope to be my "Golden Years" I have chosen quality over quantity. It's not a matter of forgiveness, if people haven't changed and grown in well over 50 years they're probably never going to. Over the years I've tried to remember the good times but when I've spoken with old "friends" as soon as they open their mouths it is evident nothing has changed so in my own best interest I just don't speak. To be honest since I moved away 10 years ago my life has been more peaceful and happy than it ever was before.
So here's to my shrinking circle and happy birthday to all my former friends! I hope they're all eating well- just not at my table.
![[Image: m6Lj0Pf.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/m6Lj0Pf.jpg)
