From where Piggs Wheeler often chopped his firewood and occasionally dispatched one of the many hogs he kept,
a small woman in a big hat stood beside the block of hard maple and resisted the need to caress the handle of the
axe embedded into it. Peggy Powler felt a little awkward as she theatrically surveyed the clearing in the forest and
ignored the naked humming man washing in a metal tub that had once been a feeding-trough for his pigs.
At last, Sarah Wheeler appeared from the door of their ramshackle home with a mug of something steaming and
showing the faux features of exasperation for husband in the dented bath, she approached the little Witch who'd
used her man's assistance to rid the section of Calder's Way that led to the nearby village of Ridley Mill.
"He's over the moon with yer' gift, Miss Powler..." the red-cheeked young girl murmured softly as she handed over
the hot stoup of acorn coffee. "...It takes me all me-time to get him to wash his neck, never mind his whole body"
she added and straightened her apron that had seen better days.
Peggy grinned back and glanced at the happy fellow sloshing about in his dirty water. A large brick of wood ash
and buttercup-oil soap was his wife's suggested reward for helping her fight the phenomena known by the locals
as 'The Hairy Hands' and Piggs Wheeler had been an integral part of succeeding in the operation. The owner and
sole stockman of the county's largest herd of domesticated swine had earned it, even if his foaming accolade had
been proposed by the frizzy-haired woman who birthed his five children.
"Ah gotta' thank yer' fur' this..." Piggs called to the Last Witch of Underhill and for a moment, it looked like the
sinewy man was about to stand up in the tub, but Sarah quickly moved to block Peggy's view and to urge her
man to stay in his grey-water stew. "...Me-Missus won't be able te' keep her hands off me now Ah'm shiny as
a babby's backside" he joked and then the merriment left his face as his wife scolded him for being too forward.
With a bucket of water poured over his head to rinse the lather and dowse his buffoonery, Piggs Wheeler went
back to poorly-humming a melody of his childhood and purging the gunk from between his toes. Oh, and by the
way, since meeting the amiable hog-breeder, Peggy never got to know what Piggs' real first-name was and that
was fine by her. It was the actions of the man, not the man -himself that counts, the bare-footed spellbinder had
always held as a credo. Something the great Wizard Myrddin had ingrained into his pupil from the very start.
Sarah returned to stand beside the chopping-block and gave their guest nervous looks and supported her agitation
with a case of fidgets. Peggy adjusted the strap of her satchel on her shoulder and knew what the young mother
was bothered about. "Eh, if yer' have chores te' do lass, Ah'm about te' get me-self away and Ah think yer' fella's
happy as a pig in shi -in mud..." the necromancer said and looked towards the dirt-track that would take her from
the forest and find Calder's Way. "...And Ah' think there's dark tasks waitin' fur' me up the road" she appended
-perhaps to herself more than the woman in the dirt-smudged lace bonnet.
The little Witch was about to bring her attention back to the strange family living in the tree-cleared glade when
something caught her eye. The shadow was big as a horse, but wider and as it stepped closer, Peggy noticed
two huge tusks jutting from either side of its head. Branches and saplings cracked loudly in its lumbering passage
and for a moment, the wide-eyed sorceress lifted her hand to cast a spell.
"Eh Bugger-lugs!" Piggs Wheeler shouted and thankfully grabbing his greased-stained cap to hide his modesty,
jumped out of the tub and walked quickly to the massive hairy form snuffling beneath a tree-stump. "Now get yer
big ass back te' yer ladies..." the naked man warned and pointed back towards the trees with his freshly-acquired
bar of soap. The grizzled boar's eyes flickered and then the thick neck twisted its slab of a head in the vicinity of
the directing limb and it was then that Peggy Powler realised the pig-drover's mistake.
.................................................................
Canny Culpepper rode his horse into the clearing just as Piggs Wheeler apologised again for the male leader of
his forest-dwelling herd eating her present. It took a lot for Peggy not to burst out laughing as she nodded during
the nude-man's contrition and it was only due to the Midnight Mail Rider's appearance that saved her giggling
bursting forth.
"You'll be Peggy Powler?" Canny asked from his tall roan mare and somewhere on the other side of the veil,
the Witch's Fates tossed their dice. "Aye, that's me" the bantam spell-worker replied and waited for the usual
blather about her next undertaking.
a small woman in a big hat stood beside the block of hard maple and resisted the need to caress the handle of the
axe embedded into it. Peggy Powler felt a little awkward as she theatrically surveyed the clearing in the forest and
ignored the naked humming man washing in a metal tub that had once been a feeding-trough for his pigs.
At last, Sarah Wheeler appeared from the door of their ramshackle home with a mug of something steaming and
showing the faux features of exasperation for husband in the dented bath, she approached the little Witch who'd
used her man's assistance to rid the section of Calder's Way that led to the nearby village of Ridley Mill.
"He's over the moon with yer' gift, Miss Powler..." the red-cheeked young girl murmured softly as she handed over
the hot stoup of acorn coffee. "...It takes me all me-time to get him to wash his neck, never mind his whole body"
she added and straightened her apron that had seen better days.
Peggy grinned back and glanced at the happy fellow sloshing about in his dirty water. A large brick of wood ash
and buttercup-oil soap was his wife's suggested reward for helping her fight the phenomena known by the locals
as 'The Hairy Hands' and Piggs Wheeler had been an integral part of succeeding in the operation. The owner and
sole stockman of the county's largest herd of domesticated swine had earned it, even if his foaming accolade had
been proposed by the frizzy-haired woman who birthed his five children.
"Ah gotta' thank yer' fur' this..." Piggs called to the Last Witch of Underhill and for a moment, it looked like the
sinewy man was about to stand up in the tub, but Sarah quickly moved to block Peggy's view and to urge her
man to stay in his grey-water stew. "...Me-Missus won't be able te' keep her hands off me now Ah'm shiny as
a babby's backside" he joked and then the merriment left his face as his wife scolded him for being too forward.
With a bucket of water poured over his head to rinse the lather and dowse his buffoonery, Piggs Wheeler went
back to poorly-humming a melody of his childhood and purging the gunk from between his toes. Oh, and by the
way, since meeting the amiable hog-breeder, Peggy never got to know what Piggs' real first-name was and that
was fine by her. It was the actions of the man, not the man -himself that counts, the bare-footed spellbinder had
always held as a credo. Something the great Wizard Myrddin had ingrained into his pupil from the very start.
Sarah returned to stand beside the chopping-block and gave their guest nervous looks and supported her agitation
with a case of fidgets. Peggy adjusted the strap of her satchel on her shoulder and knew what the young mother
was bothered about. "Eh, if yer' have chores te' do lass, Ah'm about te' get me-self away and Ah think yer' fella's
happy as a pig in shi -in mud..." the necromancer said and looked towards the dirt-track that would take her from
the forest and find Calder's Way. "...And Ah' think there's dark tasks waitin' fur' me up the road" she appended
-perhaps to herself more than the woman in the dirt-smudged lace bonnet.
The little Witch was about to bring her attention back to the strange family living in the tree-cleared glade when
something caught her eye. The shadow was big as a horse, but wider and as it stepped closer, Peggy noticed
two huge tusks jutting from either side of its head. Branches and saplings cracked loudly in its lumbering passage
and for a moment, the wide-eyed sorceress lifted her hand to cast a spell.
"Eh Bugger-lugs!" Piggs Wheeler shouted and thankfully grabbing his greased-stained cap to hide his modesty,
jumped out of the tub and walked quickly to the massive hairy form snuffling beneath a tree-stump. "Now get yer
big ass back te' yer ladies..." the naked man warned and pointed back towards the trees with his freshly-acquired
bar of soap. The grizzled boar's eyes flickered and then the thick neck twisted its slab of a head in the vicinity of
the directing limb and it was then that Peggy Powler realised the pig-drover's mistake.
.................................................................
Canny Culpepper rode his horse into the clearing just as Piggs Wheeler apologised again for the male leader of
his forest-dwelling herd eating her present. It took a lot for Peggy not to burst out laughing as she nodded during
the nude-man's contrition and it was only due to the Midnight Mail Rider's appearance that saved her giggling
bursting forth.
"You'll be Peggy Powler?" Canny asked from his tall roan mare and somewhere on the other side of the veil,
the Witch's Fates tossed their dice. "Aye, that's me" the bantam spell-worker replied and waited for the usual
blather about her next undertaking.
Read The TV Guide, yer' don't need a TV.