Attention British Ninjas - Your Invisibility is showing

[Ninurta]

somebody in an office in London is trying to pad his (her) resume.

is a British Ninja anything like a Mall Ninja?
https://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

(I sense a Ninja-themed banner soon)

Thanks for the link to the Mall Ninja Saga - it was an amusing and entertaining read! I can't believe that guy was serious. I'm pretty convinced he was trolling under two separate accounts. One of the funnier posts was where he was posting as "SPECOPS", but then kept referring to "SPECOPS" in the third person, as if it were someone else. Looks to me like he probably accidentally logged into SPECOPS, but thought he was logged in as "Gecko45"

It was funny when he decided to forego MP5's and such and elected to go with "higher quality" HiPoint carbines and Lorcin pistols. That had me rolling, but then it just went further off the rails from there! Neither MP5's nor HiPoint carbines are carried as a matter of course by Mall Security. I never carried either one even as an actual armed guard. We did have one guy from another company come to a yearly qualification with a Lorcin 9mm pistol, but Lorcins are jam-a-matics, and he had a hard time, and failed to qualify. He might have been a great shot - we'll never know, as the Lorcin dumped more, MANY more, rounds on the ground than it sent downrange.

I've never had any use for the HiPoint carbines. They fire pistol bullets, and so are just big pistols, or underpowered carbines. If I'm going to launch pistol rounds, I prefer to do it from the convenience of a pistol, rather than a really big, unwieldy, cumbersome "carbine" that only has pistol power. It's just a personal preference, I reckon.

The "Mall Ninja" guy had to be trolling as two separate people.

Yes, British Ninjas - or at least the folks using the "Ninja" swords - are exactly like Mall Ninjas, except they don't wear uniforms, don't carry pepper spray and handcuffs, and apparently actually do slice folks up rather than merely trolling people on the internet.

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I'm going to take this opportunity to post an image of the above mentioned "sword bucket":



The two Ninja swords are in there, but notice how I have cleverly buried them in the back of the bucket, so as to avoid exciting the delicate sensibilities of British government types. The Scottish claymore is in the corner to the right of the image, because obviously it would upset the delicate balance of the bucket itself with it's overweening weight. Also present are a battle axe, an Algonquian war club ("Pokeeshi"), and, on the left, a crossbow.

Also notice the rifle cleverly concealed behind the claymore. That's there only to insure that no British  government agents succeed in confiscating my awesome sword collection! It's utterly useless in the day-to-day armored hand to hand combat that is so frequent in the modern world...

... not London, of course. but the MODERN world... the one that exists everywhere that is NOT London.

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