(05-13-2024, 08:51 PM)Ninurta Wrote: I think of a spiritual journey as a roller-caster ride. There are highs, and there are lows, but over time they tend towards one another and "flatten out" - it's just that that flattening out leaves you at a higher overall or average level than before.
I can only tell folks what I personally think, so don't take it as gospel or anything - your mileage may vary.
That first meeting, or "awakening" is like a jolt of electricity. You'll never know that same intensity again, because it's your first experience of it. It's overwhelming. You start thinking that you may be 10 feet tall and completely covered with hair... that you are somehow invincible. It's probably closer to truth to say that You will experience that intensity again, but that over time you will learn to moderate it so that you aren't overwhelmed again as at the first. You learn to temper it, taking knowledge from the lows to moderate the highs.
Most folks, maybe all folks, who experience it feel like they can "change the world", and when that world-change doesn't come, it leads to the first "low", a disappointment or depression that you're not having the effect that you thought you would have. But that, too, is a part of the learning.
Now, the way I personally handle it is to realize that I cannot change the entire world, only the parts of it that I can reach. I realize there are "Sons of Seth" as well as "Sons of Cain" populating the planet, and you will never reach the Sons of Cain. You will never change them, and it's a depressing effort to even try. They are not meant to be changed... they simply are what they are.
Part of that same realization is that contrary to modern Christian teaching, God is NOT "Love", nor does he love everyone. I don't care what they tell you in Church, that simply isn't true. That's just some hippy bullshit thrown into the mix to purposefully cause the enlightened to become depressed when they find they are not having the effect they think they should have. The Bible itself confirms this, for it is written that "God loved Jacob, but he hated Esau" - all the proof you need, really, that God does not "love everyone".
That's something we all have to come to terms with. God doesn't love everyone, and not everyone is going to want to change or "come to the Light". Attempts to force them to do so will inevitably be met with depression and anger. They're just not going to do it. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, and assuming that you can destroys the entire concept of "free will". Some folks are just going to exercise that free will in ways that you do not, and never will, approve of, but it's THEIR free will to exercise, so you just have to let them go on their own way - you've already done everything you can for them. There are others around who may need the attention you are wasting on trying to convert the lost.
As I mentioned above, it's a roller-coaster ride. You may at some points reach the same intensity as that first encounter, but when you do, it will not "feel" the same, because that first time, you had nothing to compare it against. That's why it was so overwhelming. You's never been there before, and it was all brand new.
Now, that's not necessarily a BAD thing, in my opinion. You can't get anything useful done while you are being overwhelmed, overrun by an emotional experience. You can only really experience it. It's in learning how to moderate or modulate that experience that we learn how to get things done, and that only comes through experience... so, you have to experience it. Both the highs and the lows. You have to learn how to handle EACH of those, not just the one or the other.
Also, keep in mind that you cannot "hate" those who make choices contrary to what your own might be. it's THEIR choice to make,not yours. They will go their way, and we have to learn to accept that. As it says, God allows the sun to shine and the rain to fall on the wicked and just alike - who are we to criticize that plan? We just have to accept it and move on to the next assignment, secure in the knowledge that we did what we could, we did our own job, and the rest is someone else's lookout.
After all, the joys the wicked have in THIS world are all the joys they are ever going to have, so who are we to try to steal that from them and force them onto a path they don't want to take? Let 'em go their own way. It's all they will ever have.
There's more, really, but I'm getting overrun with a new thought before I've put the last one to word, so this is where I'll stop.
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You just hit the nail on the head.
I had to accept God did not love everyone.
That hit me hard. I realized people I loved would not make it to the next life. I had to accept that most people would not understand the things I was going through. That it took the Holy Spirit to get me to this level. That I could not pass along most of what I was learning. That most of the people don't even want to hear it, and I had to get used to that feeling of being alone with these amazing wonders and miracles.
When people started to reject some of what I had to offer, as far as insight goes, there was a time I was questioning myself. Or what I had been going through, learning and experiencing.
As time went on and I am progressing forward and I can start to see that all of this was a good thing.
It took me a while with this though. I had it my mind to help. I have always done what I could, and I always will. It's who I've always been. But, had to accept that I couldn't reach even those that I love.
That took me a while. This was a cold hard fact that I had to accept.
I accept that everyone has their own choice, and everyone makes their own choice.
I did have a period where I tried to argue these insights to others.
I learned very quickly that was an exercise in futility.
I stopped.
I accept that this is my journey and my journey alone. Like you said, I will do what I can where I can.
I had made a decision coming out of this.
I wanted to master the art of silence. I have always been a quite type. The last few years I feel like I've been sharing way too much. Way too many pearls trampled. I will learn to master silence again.
Spot on, Ninurta. At least to what I've learned up to this point. With some extra insight from you, of course. That was inspiring to me in places. Especially the highs and lows. At first I thought I had lost it all when I hit that first low.
That first high, and that initial introduction/baptism of the Spirit was so awesome that there are no words to describe it. There just aren't words beautiful enough or powerful enough. It is something that has to be experienced.
Thanks for your input. Greatly appreciated.
I know I am on the right path, and a lot of what you just said validated that. A lot of what this whole thread has said has validated it for me. Not that it needed it. But it was a comfort from you all.
They live.
We sleep.
We sleep.