(05-13-2024, 10:28 AM)NightskyeB4Dawn Wrote: I can relate.
At my lowest point I found peace in knowing I was not alone. I could feel the presence of God with me and I surrendered all to him.
I was lifted up, and it felt like I was flying on eagle's wings. I found joy in everything, even the pain.
I gave no thought to the landing. What goes up must come down. I rode high, I basked in the power and the light, feeling the joy of my flight. Forgetting the source of the wind beneath my wings.
As my progress began to slow down, and I began the slow descent, the depression came and I felt abandoned. I called out in my spirit, and it was as if God spoke back, in an almost humorous way.
It was like he was saying, "So now you remember me." "That was quick."
I found out very quickly that I was not getting very far flying solo, and was more than happy to let Jesus take the wheel.
Everyone's journey is different. We don't even run on the same fuel. When we are traveling the right path it seems like nirvana, when we verve off course we feel like we are lost.
If we stay off course for too long, we get hit with the dread of a crash landing. That dread intensifies if you have ever reached rock bottom before.
If you are aware of your surroundings and are tuned in, I don't think you can escape the ups and downs. With time and through life experiences you become more skilled at riding the thermals. That does not mean you won't hit some bumps along the way, it just means you get better at handling the highs and the lows.
No worries. The Lord is in my heart and this was also a faith experience. It definitely brought me closer to Him.
As I am coming to understand this more and more, I start to see how the "death of the ego" was involved. How I faced the dark part of my personality. The parts of me I cannot change. I'm learning how this is to help someone except themselves on all fronts; not just the good parts of us. We all have an evil side in their somewhere. Dark parts of our minds. Usually we ignore these things. This dark night of the soul was me facing everything of myself. I even faced my doubts in my faith. I thought I had lost God for a while. I pondered on God for so long during this time. At its darkest moment, I considered if the devil had created this world, and everything I had read in the Bible was written by Satan to throw us off from finding God. I faced thoughts I never would have faced had it not been for this period of time.
I did come back to love and peace. I started to feel that warm embrace of the Lord. I felt his presence again. The Spirit of the Lord came over me like a warm blanket. I was not alone anymore.
I had accepted Christ a long time ago. I had been on a faith journey with all of this as well. God is every bit a part of this, but that side of it is for a different time. I am just now coming out of that darkness and back into the light.
Something just came to mind.
Remember in one of the original star wars movies, Luke Skywalker goes into a tree. He has to find himself in there or something like that. So he's in this tree and suddenly and slowly Darth Vader appears. Luke Skywalker faces off with Vader and strikes him down.
I was told once that this was a representation of a spiritual awakening/dark night of the soul references. After Luke had defeated Vader he pulls of Vader mask and sees his own face.
He was his own enemy.
A good interpretation imo.
They live.
We sleep.
We sleep.